Monday, May 8, 2017

When you Think Your Normal is Normal

You are rolling through life thinking everything is just fine…after all it is your normal. What may be your normal may be another person’s insanity. What maybe another person’s insanity maybe a walk in the park to you. What may be a walk in the park to you, may be complete boredom to someone else.

No matter, your life is your life; until you wake up one day and your normal is flipped upside down. 

Your normal, actually starts to look bad to you; your normal starts to become a fleeting memory to you and it’s only been out of your sight for maybe 48 hours or so. You didn’t realize how hard or exhausting or strenuous your normal truly was on you.

You are just a fighter, you are a survivor; you just wake up every morning, put one foot in front of the other and go about your day, do what needs to be done, and that’s your normal; until your normal gets lightened, or made easier, or the pain or hurt or weight gets lifted.

This recently happened to me. My weight got lifted. My husband was home for more than three days in a row. This has become my normal; for my entire adult life. I was married once before, and he traveled for a living as well. So, I have never had a “9 to 5” husband. But recently my husband was home for almost 10 days; and my “normal” was blown out of the water.

You would think I would have been going crazy and ready for him to leave, and ready to get back to my way of doing things. But quite the contrary. He and I fell into a great rhythm, we worked well together, it was nice to have someone to fall asleep next to every night, it was nice to get to talk to him and get all our conversations done and not feel rushed, like we had to have them finished in 72 hours.

The weight was lifted. What I thought was normal, and what I was accustomed to, was gone; and to be honest I couldn’t have been happier. This new normal was wonderful. I had someone there with me at every baseball game, at the sporting clay tournaments, I didn’t have to drive out of town alone with all the kids, we had dinner every night together as a family of five and not four, he had time to fix things around the house, and I got to sleep next to the man of my dreams for more than 72 hours.

So, your normal, or what you have become accustomed to, may not be such a great normal. But sometimes our mind must protect us, and trick us into to thinking our normal is okay; because if it doesn’t we won’t be able to survive.

We won’t be able to survive raising our kids alone while our husband is gone 22 days a month; we won’t be able to survive the loss of our child; we won’t be able to survive the loss of a spouse; we won’t be able to survive the loss of a limb; so, you see, don’t be angry or jealous as you look around the baseball field at the families that are sitting there together cheering on their little sluggers, because that may not be their normal; just be happy you are there.

Normal is defined as an adjective

1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

2. serving to establish a standard.

So, the question is…what is normal? To you, your life is normal. But a sudden change could instantly become your new normal. Mine did. My husband being home was my new normal. But sadly, I am back to my old normal, and I’m used to it again.

A widow’s new normal could be finding love again; it will be hard opening her heart again, but eventually sharing her heart, her bed, and even her home with another man, will become her new normal. So, you see, normal is in the eye of the beholder. You just have to embrace your normal.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Sometimes Life is Hard

Sometimes life just stinks. Sometimes life just slaps you in the face unexpectedly. But unfortunately, you must find your inner self, your inner peace, and your inner sanctum and keep moving forward.

I was lucky enough to marry my very best friend in the entire world. He listens to me rant and rave about various things. I have a really, really bad habit of repeating my issues or my problems, as if that is going to make them go away.

I just talk, and talk, and talk about them. I am the poster child for “beating a dead horse”. But he has always been my sounding board. About the 100th time, he kindly says, “Okay, now they aren’t going to change, or you can’t change that, so we need to just move on.” I smile, say it one more time out of frustration, and I move on. Because I know he’s right.

So, I asked him the other day. When something bothers him, why doesn’t he talk much about it, or vent or scream, or yell, or whatever he needs to do to get it out? His response was simple…” Would you rather have someone like me that is fairly calm to talk to or to argue with, or someone who is irrational?”

Although I completely agree with him, I responded with, if everyone were as calm as you, and didn’t have a little spunk, a little fire, or a little piss and vinegar, like I do…then the world would be an extremely boring place. Although he agreed, he reminded me, that there are just somethings in life we just can’t change.

We can’t change people’s minds;

We can’t change people’s opinions;

We can’t change people’s outlook on life;

We can’t change people’s attitudes;

We can’t change their backgrounds;

But the only thing we can do, is we can change ourselves. We can be there for one another, and help each other see the world for what it is. Help each other see the “Big {Picture”; help each other see the argument from the other person’s perspective, and pick ourselves up when we’ve been hurt the most be a big person and just move on.

Because in the end beyond all your fears lies your freedoms. Whatever your fears may be, whatever your freedoms need to be, they are there; you just need to recognize them, grab hold and realize that no matter who hurts you, no matter who doesn’t appreciate you, and no matter who can’t see things from your perspective, you have your right to believe in yourself.

Monday, March 27, 2017

He was a genius for a reason

A true sign of genius, is being able to think outside of the box and way ahead of your time. Well, dear old Al was able to do both.  He was brilliant beyond his years, and I don’t mean his age, I mean the era in which he was discovering and producing such information and knowledge.
It is absolutely amazing to me what this man could accomplish, here is a small list of some of his major accomplishments, and this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of his accomplishments:
  • Einstein showed that absolute time had to be replaced by a new absolute: the speed of light.
  • He asserted the equivalence of mass and energy, which would lead to the famous formula E=mc2
  • Einstein challenged the wave theory of light, suggesting that light could also be regarded as a collection of particles. This helped to open the door to a whole new world--that of quantum physics.
  • In 1910, Einstein answered a basic question: 'Why is the sky blue?'
  • Einstein later published a paper in 1915 called "General Relativity."
  • Einstein recognized that there might be a problem with the classical notion of cause and effect.
  • Between 1905 and 1925, Einstein transformed humankind's understanding of nature on every scale, from the smallest to that of the cosmos as a whole.
  • Einstein and de Sitter in 1932 proposed a simple solution of the field equations of general relativity for an expanding universe. They argued that there might be large amounts of matter which does not emit light and has not been detected.
No matter how scientific he got with his studies, the one thing this man never did, was remove the human factor in it all. He never overlooked that all of his work, his studies, and his discoveries were for the benefit of mankind.
And with his afore mentioned statement, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” – Albert Einstein
The human that can possibly regarded as the most brilliant person to exist, and who heavily relied on technology to confirm his hypotheses, made this statement in the early 1900s. If he were alive today, I feel he was die from disappointment in today’s society.
The fact that these generations being raised on phones, devices, gaming systems, anything…are total and complete idiots. And I can say this because my three boys are suffering from this. I watch these kids and they are actually sitting around a dinner table together, texting one another, instead of actually holding a conversation.
It breaks my heart to see these kids, not able to look an adult in the eye and say hello and actually carry on a conversation. It breaks my heart to see the world turn into such a machine modified place of existence. I understand there are movies like “Back to the Future” and TV shows like “The Jetsons”, that were ahead of their times. But if you watch carefully, people are still talking and interacting in those movies and shows.
I feel a lot of our societal problems…failing marriages, failing friendships, lack of work ethic is strongly based on the failing art of communication. Remind your kids that no matter what a computer or phone can do for them in the world, the touch, the hug, or the spoken word from one human being to another is irreplaceable.
We have all learned something from Albert, but I think this is the most important lesson we could ever learn from him. Don’t allow idiots to take over our children. Let’s keep them grounded and solid people. Make them do chores, make them earn that new phone they want, make them speak when spoken to, and make them touch and love you. No machine or computer will ever be able to replace a hug, a kiss, or a hand holding.