Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Smarter than their mommy

By: Samantha S. Daviss

My boys are my life, I love everything about being their mommy. But don’t get me wrong there are those days that I would love to just hide in my nice warm sheets and never get out of bed, and maybe sleep for two days straight. But I know I would bore too easily; and I would hate to miss even a moment of my babies’ lives.

I hear and read so many stories of parents that have sadly lost their children too soon due to an illness or a horrible accident, and to those parents I lift you up in prayer and thought every single day. I couldn’t imagine my life, or even one second of my days, without my boys in it.

I’m at such an incredible stage with my pre-teen, that he and I really do talk about everything. We have one of the neatest mother-son relationships. I try not to overstep my bounds, as I know he needs to learn on his own, have a few bumps and bruises; but he knows that I am here for him 24/7. I love that he comes in to my room and sits on the foot of my bed and talks to me about girls, or things in his life that are bothering him. But I love the most that he is my buddy, he and I are constantly joking and cutting up together. He and I have a running joke between each other, that when the other says something “not so intelligent”…we always say that “we are so glad the other is pretty”.

He and I have the kind of relationship that I hope will last forever. He knows I will always be the number one gal in his life, until he finds that perfect match. And at that point, I pray that she can love me as much as he loves me.

But the two little ones are in a funny chatty and negotiating stage. There is not one day that goes by that they don’t crack me up and make me smile. They have both gotten in the habit of telling me “here’s the deal, mom”…and then proceed to tell me what my plans are for the day, where we are going to go, when we are going to do it, and how it fits into “their schedule”.

The middle one is constantly negotiating with me. For example, if he wants a cup of milk, and I say he has had enough…he will negotiate a deal with me. “If you get me some milk now, then I will eat all of my dinner”. News Flash!! You were going to eat all of your dinner regardless.

Most recently the youngest decided to get out of bed after I had already read a book to him, said our prayers, and gave him all of his kisses. My oldest saw the light on under the door so he peeked in to see what was happening, and the little one was playing with his train track, but there was one additional accessory on the train track. So my oldest came to get me and show me what was going on…I opened the door, and all over the floor was baby powder. Even though it was late and I was exhausted, for some reason I didn’t get upset. I couldn’t wait to see what his excuse was.

“It snowed Momma. My choochoo went through the tunnel and needed snow on it like in Tolorado (Colorado in layman’s terms).” I couldn’t help but pick him up, squeeze him tight and giggle. Only my little man would think his choochoo needed some snow. I actually thought it was pretty clever.

And my most favorite statement happened over the Christmas holidays. We went on a family ski vacation with some friends and had a great time. All my boys are now officially slope savvy, even the little one. But in the airport on the way to ski, we were all standing at the window watching the airplanes come and go, the men load and unload the luggage, and the other men load and unload the food carts. When out of the blue, my middle one says (hand to God)…”Mom, you know those planes all look a little older. They seem to look like the planes from the 80s”.

I nearly fell out…I know everyone around me thought I had lost my mind, but I couldn’t stop laughing. So I quickly responded with “You sure they look like the planes from the 80s, considering you were born in 2010?”

“Yep, they definitely look like the planes from the 80s mom.”

I know we all have funny stories to share about our little ones; but what’s most important is to remember that they all go by so quickly. I will soon be entering the teenage stage of life, many of you are sending babies off to college and some into marriage, and some are bringing home your grandbabies…so cherish every minute of every day with your little ones, no matter how exhausting they can be. I have to remind myself daily…that one day I will get all the sleep I want, because, sadly, my babies will all be grown and gone.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

It’s time to take a stand

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Being a parent is the most rewarding job, but it is also the most difficult. Especially when it’s time to let them “fly”. You just want to wrap them in a warm blanket and protect them for the rest of their lives, even though you know that happiness, pain, sadness, tears, smiles, and thrills are all a part of building their character and how they will handle all the hurdles life hands them.

Hopefully, as a parent, you are able to offer them unconditional love, understanding and patience so they know they can come to you for anything. The most painful thing as a parent is watching your child’s heart get broken; either through a break up, failure in sports or in the classroom, or someone picking on them.

I have a huge issue with bullying, as I am sure most people do. But like I always tell my boys, you are no better than anyone on this planet. They may excel at some things more than others, but they also have their shortcomings; so my main rule is for my boys to understand just how incredible they are, and not to compare themselves to others, but to compare themselves to the person they were yesterday. Always strive to be better, but don’t do it in a negative manner, don’t belittle people from your success, or ever point out anyone else’s shortcomings. Because remember, when you point at someone, you always have three other fingers pointing back at yourself.

Bullying seems to be a huge issue in schools these days; and I blame it on the lack of parental involvement due to all the modern day technology. There is a major disconnect in families and humans in general. Technology has made it entirely too easy to never have to speak to another human being all day long. Think about it … you can text versus calling, you can email versus calling, you can play a game or watch a movie versus interacting with the three dimensional world. So basically we have lost the art of conversation; the ability to really talk to another human being and get in touch with their inner thoughts and feelings.

So to that I say bullying is a two way street. It is just as important to stay in touch with your kids and have the knowledge of their safety and security and make sure they aren’t being bullied at school or elsewhere; but on the flip side of that coin it is just as important for parents or guardians to be in touch enough with their kids to know if they are doing the bullying.

Of course we want to protect our children from being hurt by a bully; but maybe others are bullying because there is something out of balance in their lives. Maybe they have some issues built up inside; maybe they feel they have something to prove to their classmates by picking on another; maybe they feel they need to prove their worth to a parent or are being bullied by a parent so they let their aggression out on their classmates; or maybe they are so insecure about some physical inadequacy (like height, or hair, or skin issues). They lack that ability to be secure in their own skin, and that only comes with age and maturity, granted; but regardless of how they feel about themselves, that is no excuse to abuse others.

Whatever the case may be we, as parents, need to stay in touch with our kids regardless what side of the fence our kids may be on. Those being bullied may have a lifetime of mental anguish and damage done to their psyche; and those doing the bullying may being dealing with a lifetime filled with existing anguish and anger. Either way our children our hurting. So take the time to really get to know your kids and find out what side of the fence they are on, if you don’t you are only hurting your future.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Can’t we be Both?

I read the most interesting article yesterday, about a Hollywood starlet who got completely slandered for her views on feminism. The article was about Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, and she stated something to the effect that she wasn’t around for the feminist era nor their fight, but she is very grateful for what they did for women in the present day and she wouldn’t be where she is if it weren’t for the feminist movement. But with that said, she still enjoys coming home from work, cooking dinner for her husband, Ryan Sweeting, and “serving her man, it’s my way of showing him how much I love him”. She stated, and she loves being a homemaker.

To be honest, I couldn’t agree with her more. Of course the liberals in Hollywood didn’t like it much, and even a fan said that if “she [the fan] doesn’t cook does that mean she doesn’t love her husband?” Why does everyone have to read so much into everything? No one said you loved your husband or family any less if you don’t cook or clean, it just means it’s not your thing. Kaley happens to enjoy doing that stuff, it makes her feel fulfilled.

I guess I am the same person as Kaley. I wasn’t around for the feminist movement and fight, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t thank those visionaries, those risk-takers and leaders. They fought for what every woman deserves and that is equality to men. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t have been able to go to the college I went to, because it was an all-male college, until the feminist movement caught on; and that was Texas A&M University, which now over 50% female. We wouldn’t have female CEOs, doctors, scientists, you name it, and we as the female race wouldn’t be where we are today.

But does wanting to go home after a long day, do the laundry, clean our houses, cook dinner, and just overall make our houses homes, make us any less of women? I don’t think so…in fact I think it makes us even stronger more capable human beings. It shows our strengths and fortitude and abilities to forge through anything that is thrown our way.

I love coming home after a full day in the office to cook dinner, prepare my kids’ baths, help with their homework, and get my house in order. Am I exhausted at the end of every day, you betcha. But I was given this wonderful gift and that was the gift of choice. I get to choose to work, I get to choose to stay at home, and I get to choose to cook, clean and tend to my husband and children. But I do all of this by choice, because I was given this freedom by all those wonderful woman who fought, forged and trudged through the political uproar of women’s equal rights.

Those crusaders will never be forgotten; will never know how grateful every single woman is; and never understand the foundations they have built for society. But one thing is certain, I cherish the fact that I have the choice to work and to be a good wife, mother and housekeeper. I pride myself on all my efforts, whether or not other women agree with me, this is the choice I made in my life…to do it all.