Not Just One Hat

In the Tree House: Not Just one Hat    

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Often as a parent, moms in particular, we tend to wear all sorts of different hats; and not just for our kids, but for friends, work colleagues, as daughters, as granddaughters, and as wives…needless to say our hat rack is pretty full.

The role that many women live today requires a multitude of hats to be worn; and they are usually taken on and off numerous times every single day of her life. Typically she will start her day off with the mommy/wife hat, and then progress into the working woman’s hat, while possibly putting the mommy hat back on mid-day to check on her kids or to receive the inevitable “tummy ache” phone call from the school nurse; then immediately throwing the “working gal” hat back on to finish out her day. As soon as that clock strikes to end the work day, she immediately throws her mommy/wife/housekeeper/teacher hat on to possibly run to the grocery store, pick the kids up from school, start dinner, all the while walking everyone through their homework duties, in addition to starting a load of laundry.

Sometimes in the monotony of the standard “every day” hats she has to apply; the inevitable doctor or nurse hat gets worn for a scraped knee, or upset tummy; in addition to the “pet whisperer” hat for the necessary pet feeding and pet living area cleaning that must take place a few times a week.

But for all the hats that must be worn, we, as women, wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Because we know our loved ones need us and want us in their lives.

As a friend, we tend to be their punching bags when they need to vent about work or their spouse and try to talk them through it, while encouraging them that “This too shall pass”. Or we are their sounding boards when something terrible goes wrong in their lives, like a sick child, a hurt child, or the loss of a pet. As a friend wearing many hats we have to remember that we are there for them no matter what, after all they are our extended families.

With colleagues, the hat line tends to become a little more blurry…all of our duties and responsibilities tend to overlap just a bit, but that is just part of the corporate world and working as a team. But still we need to stay focused as work as a unit, because in the end, we are all working towards the same goal. So in a way we have to wear our friendship hat to work as well. There needs to be no animosity or anger, and if there is, then everyone needs to find a way to talk it out, or work it out. A tense work environment doesn’t bode well for cohesion in the work place.

The “grown woman” hat, who is still a daughter and granddaughter, and a mother in her own right…, tends to be the most complex. Because as we all know most of the time our parents and grandparents “capture” us in their minds at certain ages and tend to overlook the fact that we are grown adults, with mortgages, and children of our own that we are rearing. But we are still needed to act appropriately in the daughter/granddaughter role; especially if a parent or grandparent is ailing and needs our care and attention. But with that, needs to come a mutual respect and understanding from our elders, recognizing the fact that we have our own lives to live and dreams we want to fulfill, and vacations and memories we want to explore and build with our own immediate families that we created when we made the decision to get married and start a family of our own.

In conclusion, the most precious hats we are honored to wear on a daily basis are that of mother and wife. That special someone in your life thought you were a fantastic enough person that they wanted to share the rest of their days on this earth with you. Sometimes I look at my husband and wonder… “Why?” Why on earth did he pick me, with all my quirks; why does he want to wake up in bed next to me every morning; why does he want to share his deepest darkest thoughts, dreams and prayers with me? I wonder…but I’ve learned to never look a gift horse in the mouth. I just feel blessed every day that we found one another, each other’s counter parts, to travel down life’s road together, no matter how smooth or bumpy it may be, we are doing it together.

But I must say that the hat that I love wearing the most, with pride and honor, is that of “Mother”. These little creatures that are my responsibility on a daily basis, didn’t ask to be brought into this world…my husband and I made that decision for them. So the fact that I was blessed enough to have three wonderful little boys added to my life and world, makes the “Mommy” hat just about the best accessory I could ever own.