By: Samantha S. Daviss
As you grow up you instinctually know you want to become a
parent, and you were born to do it; or the thought kind of grows on you as you
grown older, and become more mature. Then there are those out there that have
become parents that have absolutely no right to be a parent.
But when you do finally make that decision, you get lots of
words of advice from people like “Sleep when the baby sleeps”, or “Don’t worry
about the laundry, enjoy your kids while they are young”; but we are never told
some of the deeper (and funnier things) about parenthood, until it is sitting
in your lap, or vomiting on your cocktail dress as you are walking out the
door.
So from my experience as a mother, who would walk through
fire for her boys; I have compiled an emotional, yet lighthearted list of
things you never hear uttered before entering parenthood:
1)
You will never ever go potty or bathe without an
interruption ever again;
2)
Never wear nice clothes, because it is
inevitable that dirty fingers, spit up, or poo will find that silk blouse
you’ve worked so hard to keep clean until you can run to the garage, jump in
your car and leave;
3)
Your favorite TV show…forget about it…it will
never be seen or heard again, uninterrupted (thank you DVR);
4)
If you are feeling sick or under the
weather…suck it up, there is no chance you get to rest, nap, or go to bed early
to gain your strength back…put your big girl pants on and keep moving;
5)
You would never imagine that you could love
anything or anyone more than you love yourself, your spouse (or your
luggage)…but those little creatures grab a hold of your heartstrings and tug
for the rest of your life;
6)
You could never imagine that that sweet adorable
baby you held in the hospital for the first time, could absolutely bring you to
your knees from pure exhaustion;
7)
That you would never care about material possessions
again, the way you once did. You could total your car, leaving your vehicle on
the side of the road without a care; as long as your baby got to the ER in time
to fix their broken arm;
8)
You wouldn’t care that you stubbed your toe or
punctured your foot in the middle of the night walking over the field of Hot
Wheel cars; because you were headed back to make sure everyone was sound asleep
in their own beds, safe and secure;
9)
That you had to trade in your perfectly made-up
face, your adorable hair style, and pressed clothes for a chance to shower at
least once a day, if you’re lucky; and in return you got to throw your hair up
in a ponytail, slap on some under eye concealer to hide your lack of sleep
bags, and a T-shirt and jeans you found on the floor (that…yea, smell okay);
10)
You will never, ever sleep soundly again; as
long as they are in your house;
11)
Your gut will never be untied, for fear they
have broken something on their bodies, had a car wreck, made a poor decision,
or made you a grandparent (entirely too soon);
12)
Your purse no longer will obtain the items you
need like lip-gloss or a brush, but instead replaced by a diaper pouch, hand
sanitizer, airplanes and cars, and lots and lots of Band-Aids;
13)
All your pretty stuff that you worked so hard to
collect to make your house beautiful, will never see the light of day until
they graduate from high school and leave the house;
14)
Your driving habits will completely change…your
geriatric driving style will kick in;
15)
No matter how hard you try, or what kind of
music you listen to, you will never look cool in your SUV or minivan filled
with multiple car seats and the family “stick figure” stickers on the back of
your car…the days of being young and hip are over;
16)
You completely lose your self-identity, you are
no longer known by your given or married name, you are now “Billy’s Mom” or
“Suzy’s Dad”;
17)
You hope to heaven that they learn who they are
before it’s too late, and don’t fall idle to peer pressure;
18)
That one day they will have children of their
own and then they will understand all the lectures and arguments that went on;
19)
That your mistakes don’t become their mistakes;
20)
And the one thing that you are never told before
becoming a parent…that those little people will never ever have any idea how
much you love them, until they hold their baby in their arms for the first
time.
Like I’ve always said, parenthood it the best thing that I
have ever been blessed with. What other event in your life can take you from
laughter to tears in milliseconds, other than being a parent. Enjoy them while
you have them, they are gone in a blink, and cherish every hug, kiss, or
snuggle you can get your hands on.
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