Mom of Boys

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Little boys are amazing creatures. Every day I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach, hoping that old cliché isn’t true that when boys grow up they migrate towards the girl’s family; I hope my boys will want to remain close to my heart forever.

The journey with boys is full of lots of laughs, some tears, but most importantly lots and lots of love. Boys are definitely a breed of their own, but worth every minute of the experience.

Things we talk about…

As a mom of all boys, you may or may not understand this, but a boy mom hears everything, literally everything, in a day. From talking about how to ask a girl to a dance, to the next type of gun they want for their birthday, to arguing with mom about not having the right attire to swim in at the pool.

I think my favorite talks are the ones that begin with a reverse question. It takes me a while to figure out what the question is leading up to, but I finally see the light.

My favorite the other day was…”Mom did you ever go to prom?” And I told him I did, I told him I was lucky enough to go 3 times. Then he proceeded to ask how they asked me…and then it all hit me…we are wondering how we are going to ask our future dates to dances.

Things I manage and deal with…

So as a boy mom you go from one extreme to another. You are constantly picking up clothes, toys, trash, food, dirty dishes…and the next second you are dealing with their OCD habits that won’t allow them to leave the house if their toys aren’t lined up correctly or their towel has to be just perfect on the lounge chair at the pool.

Why can’t some of this pickiness occur within the walls of our home? Why does it always look like a bomb went off, then I pick up, and 10 minutes later another bomb has gone off?

Then there are those moments that I am helping them style their hair so they look good and won’t be embarrassed to go out in public; so that need for mom is still there, and hopefully will be for a while.

But within the next moment I turn the corner and find gum all over one of my car seat belts so I am on Google trying to figure out how to get chewing gum out of a vinyl seatbelt.

Special Moments…

My oldest asked me the other day why I work during the summer when he is home from school. And I told him because my job requires me to do so. I don’t have a job like a teacher or counselor where I get a few months off during the year. But I explained to him that I am lucky in the fact that I get to leave my job every day in time to pick him up from school…and as a mom of boys that is the most important time in the world to me.

They don’t always open up to you, but when they do you had better be there to listen. And that is the time of day I have found that he does most of his talking. Sometimes it is a struggle to get information out of pre-teens or teenagers, but persistence is the key. Don’t be annoying, but be persistent. And sure enough the right time and right circumstances will happen that they will open up and let you in for a brief shining moment.

Now the little ones on the other hand, never stop talking. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We talk about great ideas they have, trips they want to take, school supplies they want, or just the fact that they want to go swimming or watch trains at that very moment.  But nonetheless I will never ever cut communication off with my boys, no matter how much they clam up.

I am always on the hunt…

And that is another thing, what is it with boys and their shoes? I feel like I spend half of my lifetime searching the house for their shoes. How hard is it for the male specimen to put their shoes in their closet? They don’t have to be put there neatly, just put them there!

Things They Say….

My middle one has a great heart; even at four years old he know to let his little brother win a race now and again; which he does followed by a “Hip Hip Hooray, you just won the race!”

The oldest one is learning the art of protection, and he has asked me if anyone ever makes fun of his little brothers, is he allowed to hit them? Although the gesture is kind and sweet and protective of his little brothers that worship him, that is still another life lesson that I have to teach him.

And the little one is just full of hugs and kisses and tells me constantly not to go to work, and that he loves me.

So their little brains are always thinking and processing, that is why it is so important to set the right example. I am the first to admit, I screw up daily; but I am trying to see the big picture of my parenting, hoping that I am doing a good job and try not to beat myself up too much for the tiny errors that I make.

Just go with it…things I have endured….

This year has been a trying one on old mom. I know I have been the one taking the hits, literally, but emotionally my boys (all four of them, yes including my husband) have put me through the ringer this year.

Let’s see we ended last year with my middle one have 2 staples in his head from the baby launching a sippy cup at his head. Then four days into the New Year, my oldest snapped is ulna and radius in half, after rough housing on a trampoline. So we made it through that fiasco and then 20 days after getting our cast off, it went right back on again. He again, snapped his ulna and radius. Soon to follow my husband endured kidney stones for the first time; I am pretty sure he felt like he was birthing our 4^th child…then came the drugs and he was happy once again. The following week our youngest was sent via ambulance to Children’s Hospital in Dallas to manage a rare diagnosis of intussusception, which is a rare occurrence in the large and small intestines.

About 10 days to two weeks after that my husband was doing manual labor on our lot where we are building and a tree decided to meet his head; therefore we ended up with 8, yep 8, staples in his head as well.

And then not 7 days after that the middle one got about a second degree burn on his leg from hitting the engine on our lawn mower.

So the moral to our story is…we will NEVER EVER miss eating our black eyed peas again on New Year’s Day.

But the one thing I have learned about being a boy mom, is the power of touch; even though they are rough and tumble, they still need love, hugs and kisses. And the older they get the harder it becomes, but we have a “one hug a day” rule, not to embarrass them, but to let them know we are there for them no matter what…especially the older they become.