By: Samantha S. Daviss
As we are all aware the days seem to be getting longer,
nights shorter, and the earth is spinning faster. I feel like there is never
enough time in a day, but yet they fly past as if in a blink of an eye.
This week marks the two-year anniversary of my entire family
losing one of the most wonderful human beings I had the privilege of knowing,
loving, and respecting….my dear sweet mother-in-law. I don’t like using the
word anniversary when it comes to the passing of someone, to me anniversary carries
such a positive connotation, and this was definitely not a happy time for us.
I will never forget the morning we had to tell her goodbye.
It was Texas/OU weekend, and the reason I remember is because I was sitting on
the top floor of Baylor Hospital in Dallas, overlooking the State Fairgrounds,
watching as the sun rose over the Cotton Bowl and the preparations for the big
game were in full swing.
Most people that day were throwing on their school colors,
filling their coolers, and loading up for a great weekend of fun and laughter;
while my family and I were trying to figure out how to say goodbye to the woman
we all loved with all of our hearts and souls. We were trying to figure out how
we were going to be able to forge forward in life without her sweet hugs, kind
smile, and adoration for her kids and grandbabies.
I was trying to figure out how to keep her spirit alive, so
my boys knew just how much their Memom loved and adored them, until her last
breath (and still continues to love them, even though she isn’t able to tell
them). I want them to know that this woman was the kind of person I hope they
each have just a little bit in their souls; the kind of person that could find
the good in anyone, the kind of person that didn’t speak ill of anyone, and the
kind of person that had enough innocence in her soul that a certain inner peace
exuded from her pores.
Now don’t get me wrong, this wonderful person was no
push-over. Standing at a mere 5 feet tall, I have heard stories (hilarious ones
I might add), but nonetheless stories of how this tiny tower stood the test of
time. Through friends, men, children, grandbabies; and just funny stories of
her in her younger years as a 20 and 30 year old gal.
She lived her life with no regrets, no sadness, and no qualms.
My husband and I talk about her on a daily basis (amongst ourselves and with
our boys). We want our boys to remember her as the spirit and protective
guardian angel that surrounds us on a daily basis; not a distant memory that is
only talked about at holidays over hanging the Christmas stockings or the
Thanksgiving turkey.
Even though there are some days it hurts me so much not to
have her here on earth with us; I know she is at every soccer game, every
t-ball game, every basketball tournament, every baseball game, and most
importantly every ER visit we have to endure. I guess it’s the selfish side of
me wanting her in the here and now. I know she is in a better place and out of
pain; but the selfish side of my soul wants her here to squeeze her grandbabies,
to cheer them on at games, and to sign their numerous casts that they have worn.
But even though she is no longer tangible to us, I know she
is here. I feel her love every single day, and her protection over us as we go
through life.
I can only hope that when it is my time to go, I leave such
an impression. Maybe not on the world, maybe not through some scientific
discovery, or by saving the environment; but by leaving smiles on people’s
faces when they think of me after I am gone.
That is my goal in life, is to be a good enough person to affect
someone in some positive manner. I want my millions of gallons of tears missed
(being tears of laughter, sadness, or just because I watched a Kleenex
commercial); I want my ability to drone on and on about a topic missed; and I
want my love and protection of my friends and family missed (because when I
love, I love big).
Make your mark on the world. It doesn’t have to be earth
shattering; but make your mark, and make it a permanent one.
Carpe Diem—Leave each
day to the fullest.
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