By: Samantha S. Daviss
Being a parent is the most rewarding job, but it is also the
most difficult. Especially when it’s time to let them “fly”. You just want to
wrap them in a warm blanket and protect them for the rest of their lives, even
though you know that happiness, pain, sadness, tears, smiles, and thrills are
all a part of building their character and how they will handle all the hurdles
life hands them.
Hopefully, as a parent, you are able to offer them
unconditional love, understanding and patience so they know they can come to
you for anything. The most painful thing as a parent is watching your child’s
heart get broken; either through a break up, failure in sports or in the
classroom, or someone picking on them.
I have a huge issue with bullying, as I am sure most people do.
But like I always tell my boys, you are no better than anyone on this planet. They
may excel at some things more than others, but they also have their
shortcomings; so my main rule is for my boys to understand just how incredible
they are, and not to compare themselves to others, but to compare themselves to
the person they were yesterday. Always strive to be better, but don’t do it in
a negative manner, don’t belittle people from your success, or ever point out
anyone else’s shortcomings. Because remember, when you point at someone, you
always have three other fingers pointing back at yourself.
Bullying seems to be a huge issue in schools these days; and
I blame it on the lack of parental involvement due to all the modern day
technology. There is a major disconnect in families and humans in general.
Technology has made it entirely too easy to never have to speak to another
human being all day long. Think about it … you can text versus calling, you can
email versus calling, you can play a game or watch a movie versus interacting
with the three dimensional world. So basically we have lost the art of
conversation; the ability to really talk to another human being and get in
touch with their inner thoughts and feelings.
So to that I say bullying is a two way street. It is just as
important to stay in touch with your kids and have the knowledge of their
safety and security and make sure they aren’t being bullied at school or
elsewhere; but on the flip side of that coin it is just as important for
parents or guardians to be in touch enough with their kids to know if they are
doing the bullying.
Of course we want to protect our children from being hurt by
a bully; but maybe others are bullying because there is something out of
balance in their lives. Maybe they have some issues built up inside; maybe they
feel they have something to prove to their classmates by picking on another;
maybe they feel they need to prove their worth to a parent or are being bullied
by a parent so they let their aggression out on their classmates; or maybe they
are so insecure about some physical inadequacy (like height, or hair, or skin
issues). They lack that ability to be secure in their own skin, and that only
comes with age and maturity, granted; but regardless of how they feel about
themselves, that is no excuse to abuse others.
Whatever the case may be we, as parents, need to stay in
touch with our kids regardless what side of the fence our kids may be on. Those
being bullied may have a lifetime of mental anguish and damage done to their
psyche; and those doing the bullying may being dealing with a lifetime filled
with existing anguish and anger. Either way our children our hurting. So take
the time to really get to know your kids and find out what side of the fence
they are on, if you don’t you are only hurting your future.
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