Say it Out Loud

In the Tree House: Say it Out Loud

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We all have thoughts that run feral through our minds on a daily basis. Some of them make sense, some are about what we have to do that day, some make absolutely no sense, and some are about others (good or bad).

I have discovered that over time saying what you feel, on a good note, has become a non-existent pastime in our various cultures and societies. Why do we find it so difficult to compliment one another? That is kind of a rhetorical question, but I think if we could all actually come up with a tangible reason, we would all realize how wonderful the art of flattery really is.

Do we think that if we pay someone a compliment we deserve one in return, and if we don’t receive that compliment then our feelings get hurt? Or has society just become that self-involved and lazy that we just don’t bother to brighten someone’s day with something nice to say? Or have we all become that bitter that we don’t have anything nice to say, or see the good in someone else in order to pay them the compliment they deserve?

So many unanswered variables…but to me paying a compliment is like Christmas Day. I love nothing more than to give gifts and watch all the smiles and hugs and gratitude come to life when people receive something they wanted or didn’t even expect to receive. That to me is like paying someone a compliment, especially when you completely catch them off-guard; the look on their face is “Seriously, are you talking to me?”

I just love to brighten someone’s day with a simple acknowledgement of their clothes, their hair, their smile, maybe even the fact they got their toes painted that day. It is such an easy, simple, insignificant gesture; to praise someone.

In fact, recently, one of my best friends paid me the best compliment I could have ever received…she told me I was funny. I immediately disagreed with discomfiture, but she persisted with her compliment of humor convincing me that she has always thought I was funny. It really touched me and I loved hearing it from someone who has been my friend for 20 years. But then I thought, “Hmmmm why don’t we all compliment each other more often?” Because even though we have been super close for 20 years, I never knew she thought I was “funny”. Fun to be around, enjoyed my company, added insight to her life, maybe…but never just out right funny.

And not to brag, but just the other day, I received an email from one of my reader’s praising my writing style and my topics of choice. And to be honest that is the best ego booster a writer could receive. I love hearing from my readers…because this is the kind of job that is very one-sided. I send my thoughts and words out into the world of readership, and sometimes I get responses, and sometimes I bump into people who tell me they enjoy it, but for the most part the feedback is minimum just due to the nature of the beast of writing, which is understandable; but any feedback (or compliments) is much appreciated. So you see we all like to hear from each other on some level.

 

On some level, no matter how self-assured you are or come across to other people, we all love to hear something positive about ourselves; it just makes you feel validated as a person, who you are, your personality, and what you are doing with your life.

Here are a few extraordinary accolades you could shoot a good friend’s way or a complete stranger’s:

1)      Tell a mom juggling her kids, the luggage, and the stress of travel that she is doing a great job and you don’t know how she is doing it.

2)      Tell someone that is funny…that they are funny. Some times we forget to point out the obvious to those around us.

3)      Tell a construction worker they are doing a great job.

4)      Tell the person that takes care of your kids while you are at work, thank you and they are doing a superb job— because the fact of the matter is, if your kids are safe and alive when you return home…they are doing a fantastic job!

5)      Remind your friend that is suffering through a divorce that they are a wonderful person, and it’s not their fault.

6)      Tell a good friend…that they are in fact, a great friend!

7)      Remind your kids of their strengths and why you love them so much.

8)      If your kids do something good, tell them…they can’t read your mind.

9)      Tell your spouse a new reason every day why you married them…leave the nagging at the back door!

10)  And if someone looks like they are loosing weight, tell them! Don’t be envious if you aren’t losing weight, use their weight loss as motivation.

But just remember, offering admiring comments is not a hard thing to do—just say your thoughts out loud, remember people can’t read your mind. I promise if you make it your goal to compliment one person a day; not only will they feel better but so will you…and eventually the world will be a happier place to live.