In the Tree House: The older I get…
By: Samantha S. Daviss
As most of us are aware, the older we become, the more comfortable in our own skin we become. We figure out who we are and what type of people we want to surround ourselves with on a daily basis. As younger people we feel that we can’t or shouldn’t say anything that may hurt someone else’s feelings, or stand up for ourselves for fear they may not like us any longer.
But as time marches on, so does our personal strength. We learn that although we don’t need to say anything mean to each other, we can all learn to live in harmony; however, we begin to understand who we are and who we need in our lives.
This past weekend I celebrated another glorious birthday. And I say glorious, because honestly aging doesn’t bother me at all; in fact just the contrary…because if I weren’t aging, then that means I’m not living, and life is the best gift I could receive. Admittedly so not every day is perfect, I get down in the dumps too, or aggravated by life, but at least I am here to enjoy it while I can.
I love to celebrate and enjoy my birthdays, and this one did not disappoint. I’m not one that has to have a big fuss made about me, but I do like acknowledgement…the way I look at birthdays, is it is the one day that is completely your own, so spend it how you want to spend it. And I did just that. I did a little self-pampering that morning, then I spent the afternoon with my babies blowing out candles and eating cupcakes, and that evening I got to go on a date with my husband. And not to mention all my wonderful friends and family that contacted me to wish me a wonderful day.
A gal couldn’t have asked for a more perfect birthday. I was literally and figuratively surrounded by those who care for me the most in this world. Which leads me back to the beginning of my thought process here…
It has taken me a while, but I have been absolutely overwhelmed and blessed to be surrounded by the people I love the most in this world on a daily basis. Whether you are 10,000 miles from me living in Kenya
One of my closest friends sent me a card that said something to the effect of…
“Isn’t it nice to know someone so well that they know everything about your back story and you don’t have to explain yourself or your reasons for doing what you did?”
I just thought that was perfect. Because it is so true, you feel the most secure around those who truly accept you for who you are, and your past. There is no explanation needed, no justification, just a simple “This is why” and that friend loves you regardless. I feel that if you really love or care about someone, there should be no judgment passed on their actions, their past or their future decisions. That is what true devotion really is; is allowing that person to be themselves.
I will never forget I had a girlfriend once, who sadly I lost in a horrific car accident right around our 30th birthdays. When she first came into “our group” of friends, she was very nervous, because she was the new kid on the block and dating one of our guy friends. But to boot she was pregnant (with his baby), but no plans of marriage were on the horizon. I had never met her, but instantly I fell in love with her. She was real, kind, and genuine; someone I knew I would want in my life for a very long time.
Well as the years passed, and we grew closer, she admitted to me that when we first met, she was extremely nervous to meet us all; mainly due to her unexpected pregnancy. But she told me the one thing she loved about me instantly was that I never judged her or made her feel like she was being scrutinized under a microscope. And I simply replied with “Why would I judge you?”
“That baby wasn’t a mistake; it just came a little earlier on your timeline than expected. I got to know you for you; because looking in the mirror I definitely know I’m not perfect.”
And that is how I feel everyone should respond to someone they don’t truly know. Get to know them first then make your own assessment of that person; don’t listen to idle rumors or stories creeping through the grapevine, because you never know… that person may make the biggest most positive impact on your life you could ever imagine.
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