Who we were and who we’ve become

In the Tree house: Who we were and who we’ve become  

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

It’s funny as parents, to look back on our youth and remember thinking that there would never have been a time in our adolescence that another human being would have controlled our lives in such a manner that we redesign our lives, our homes, even our vehicles around them…but the fact of the matter is…we as parents do just that. Our entire lives revolve around our kids.

What made me think of this was the fact that I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and she told me they were breaking ground on their new home. I was thrilled for them, and then she went on to tell me that they are designing their son’s room with all of his buddies in mind. And that made me laugh. She said they were buying bunk beds, and all sorts of things. I think it is great, but isn’t it amazing how one little person can completely control our every move?

Take me for example; I recently got the “car of my dreams”. Sounds kind of funny huh? A mom having the car of her dreams. Usually when you hear that you think Ferrari or Lamborghini, but not this mom…I got a fully loaded SUV. Heck yea! I rule the roadways now. It’s like a little moving city, I love it. I love looking in my backseat and seeing my kiddos all comfy and safe in this monstrosity of a vehicle. And who would have thought, that as a teenager running around in my Mustang that my dream car would have been an SUV? In fact, as a teenager, who would have thought that any of us would have conformed our lives around these little people that we would lay our lives down for?

I think of life like a great big circle (well, hence the coined term “Circle of Life”). As babies we need all the attention, as adolescence we crave all the attention, and in our 20’s we ARE all the attention. Then as we start to grow up a bit, in our 30’s our attention starts to veer away towards our spouses and possibly kids; our 40’s are all about the kids and their school lessons and sporting events; then our 50’s all the attention is focused on getting those little rug rats out of the house and on their own; and our 60’s come back to the attention being about us again, possibly enjoying retirement and travel. And if you are lucky, your 70’s are about craving the attention again from the grandkids, and if you are lucky enough to experience your 80’s, they are about needing the attention again as our bodies begin to give out on us from time to time.

But as I mentioned when we are in our youth, our prime, we would never even fathom another human being controlling our lives. Determining which car we will drive, which house we will buy, which career we will choose—all without saying a word to us. Because as parents that’s what we do, our entire world becomes our children. We redirect our goals and our dreams in order for theirs to come to fruition, and in so doing we don’t even lose a wink of sleep over it, because we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Our children are our lives. And you know what, you know you made all the right decisions and choices for them when your grandchildren turn out to be good people, because that means you did something right along the way. And all of those wonderful “sacrifices” you made were worth ever effort.

So remember, the next time your “dream car” turns out to be an SUV, just remember you can look “cool” in that too; and the next time you aren’t living in that high rise condominium in the heart of the metroplex, just open your backdoor to your huge yard and listen to all the laughter and squealing of the kids running around on the green grass.