Sanctity of Marriage

In the Tree House: The Sanctity of Marriage

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

Through my time on this earth I have been blessed with a very charmed life. I was able to travel, to attend a great university, I have lots of great friends in my life that I have met and made along the way, and I have been blessed to have found the love of my life, my counterpart.

Although my life has been pretty smooth sailing on the high seas, I have encountered one pretty big storm along the way; and that was divorce, several years ago. I always felt that that was such a taboo word to say, like I had some sort of disease. But as I have learned in the years since my divorce, it was just the path that I was meant to be sent down; and along the way I have been blessed with some pretty incredible people in my life that have made me realize this fact. And I also realized through my journey, that this was just a blip on my radar screen, and it wasn’t going to keep me down…perseverance is my game and bitterness is not a word in my vocabulary.

So with that said, I feel like I have earned the right, nay the privilege, to discuss this particular topic…and that is the subject of the sanctity of marriage (or lack thereof).

My first issue is that divorce is entirely too simple of a process. Especially in the state of Texas; there is no slap on the wrist to the person at fault or requesting (or causing the divorce), seeing how Texas is a no-fault state.

And by this I mean, typically if you are to get married in a church or have some semblance of a religious ceremony, at least one counseling, if not multiple, counseling sessions are required before the bride and groom are allowed to embark on this new wonderfully (yet scary) adventure in their lives. But with divorce, all you have to do is go down to the courts, file your petition of divorce, wait your 60 days and viola…your single again.

Ignore the fact that you have built an entire life together, possibly have children together that will suffer, or have assets that need dividing. But it is just that simple, you get tired of someone or just the fact of being married, you sign a piece of paper and your marriage is dissolved.

So my solution is, why not have an exit counseling session; and along with that a forced trial separation period? This would generate the lifestyle for the couple that they will soon endure in a permanent manner. Living in separate homes, raising the kids separately, paying child support…in essence literally paint the picture of what life will really be like; in addition to some serious counseling.

Now that leads me to my other point. I say that divorcing couples need counseling (in a tongue and cheek manner), but when one of the partners already has one (if not two) feet out the door, due to a discretionary relationship; or if one person is abusive to the other in the relationship, then counseling becomes a moot point. How can you actually fall in love with someone, and then intentionally raise your hand in vain to them after you have created this beautiful life together, just because they may have done or said something that irritated you?

I mean seriously, what happened to the sanctity of marriage, especially in this country? I feel it goes back to the fact that divorce is made too readily available. As you stand there taking your vows with that person one day, and the next you are able to turn on a dime and not only break your promise to that person you vowed your life and love to, but break your promise to God, your friends, and family. So [again] my solution to that is, own up to the person you are. Take responsibility for your actions, your choices and the decisions you made—you made a promise, so stay true and keep that promise.

And if for some reason you aren’t happy in your marriage, take the high road out; don’t slither out of it like a serpent. And understand that it is a decision that will affect you and those around you for the rest of your life.

Marriage is a sacred honor that is bestowed upon you. If you are lucky enough to find true love, as I have with my husband; hold on tight to it and never let it go. Marriage is a thing of beauty, a friendship that shall never render, enjoy every moment of everyday you have together, and never hurt or deny that person you love. But also realize that in all the passion and love, comes work and dedication. There will always be ups and downs, just like in any relationship; you just have to be strong enough to work through them.