Bells and Whistles

In the Tree House: Bells and Whistles

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

I am a diehard romantic, don’t let me kid you. I think all relationships and marriages should be just like they are in the movies; but don’t get me wrong…I am also very much a realist too. My life has definitely thrown me my fair share of curve balls, but because of those curve balls I am all the better for life and love.

My husband and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary. Unfortunately we weren’t able to celebrate together due to work, but that’s ok; because to be honest with you this is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I finally have the sense of security in a relationship.

My previous relationships have all but been very volatile. I always had a sense of uneasiness and lack of trust in almost all of my prior courtships. I never felt a sense of calm like I do with my husband. I guess that’s why I married him.  Upon meeting my husband I was coming out of a pretty rocky situation, and he stepped up as my friend and only my friend. But over time it obviously developed into something more… (flash forward to a happy marriage and two kids later.)

But the other day I was driving in my car just thinking and I don’t know if you ever get those feelings of joy or elation, I guess they are what you would call epiphanies. But I had one the other day, just out of the blue. My husband and I decided not to spend money on flowers or gifts or anything this year for our anniversary; we wanted to take a trip for our anniversary. And normally in the past when I have said not to get me anything, I was being your typical female—saying one thing and meaning another, then getting upset when I didn’t get the flowers or gift that I told him not to get me. Remember that fellas, when we say no we usually mean yes. Just a tip.

But this year, I really meant it, and I was not at all upset that he actually did what I said, not what he thought I was thinking, because I was ok with nothing (well not nothing, we are taking a trip to celebrate). I guess nothing tangible I should say.

But I have such a sense of peace and calmness about me with my husband it actually scares me at times. I know whole heartedly that he loves me unconditionally and I him. It is a relationship built purely on love, trust and most importantly friendship.

On a side note to that: It was funny, the other day something happened that upset me and made me very sad. So of course the first person I called was my husband. And our oldest son asked me why he was always the first person I called. So I had to explain to him that not only is he my husband but my very best friend in the entire world. He is the one person that I want to call immediately and get his opinion or just to vent to.

I think it confused my son a bit, but I told him that when you marry someone you must marry them for their friendship. Marry them for what is on the inside, not what they have or what they look like, but for how they make you feel. I think he understood, but he just kind of giggled and walked away.

But the calmness that I encountered on my anniversary, although I missed my husband, I know that we have a love and a bond that no gift or arrangement of flowers can ever match. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a girl and I still like all that stuff, but for the first time in any relationship I was satisfied just knowing I was loved unconditionally. He accepts my quirks, my flaws, and my opinions—he just loves me for who I am and all my craziness.

So I was OK not receiving all those bells and whistles that I would normally equate with how much he loves me, I just loved the fact that I am finally in a healthy relationship with someone who I can trust, trusts me, and loves me for who I am.