Lordy, Lordy, Look Who’s forty

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Well, unlike most women, I am being honest and telling my age. Yep I turn 40 this year, actually in just a little over a month. And you know what? I couldn’t be more excited, truly.

I feel great, although I know I could squeeze in a bit more exercise; I’ve decided to make this year the year I start caring for myself. I will not neglect anyone in my life, especially my kids or my husband. 

But I have decided to start taking longer baths, or longer walks, or get a massage every now and then.

I love my life and what I do, and how busy I am. But I have decided that this gal needs a little “me time”, outside of work, the kids, and being a wife.

In my 40 years, I know most of you all are saying, oh you young thing. And you are right, I am young. I am not saying 40 is old by any means. Heck, I still chase a 4 and 5-year-old around. I still water ski, snow ski, play outside, zip line, you name it I’ll try (ALMOST) anything once.

Nope, I have decided to talk about my age, because I have learned a lot in my 40 years of life.

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   I have learned that not everyone likes me, and that is okay.

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 I have learned that I don’t like everyone, and that is okay.

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  I have learned that my body is not perfect, but it did create three perfect human beings.

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  I have learned that no matter what life throws your way, you can and will survive. You just have to have faith in yourself, lean on your friends and family, and pray.

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 I have discovered what makes me happy, other than my family…and that is writing.

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  I have one special spot in the entire world that really makes my heart tick…Italy.

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 I have traveled, I have seen a lot of places in the world and met a lot of different people.

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    I listen to my friends. I pray for my friends, and I have been very selective in my friendships, so as not to create any drama in my life.

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    I have learned that a drama free life is the best life.

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   I have learned that my children are my heart and soul, and my little buddies, and my laugh factories.

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   I have learned that my parents love me and always will love me unconditionally.

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 Most importantly, I have learned that even though we don’t always see eye to eye or agree, my husband is my very best friend. He knows me better than anyone, and he loves me regardless of my quirks. And he truly is my other half. Every time he reaches for my hand, my heart still flutters; every time he kisses me I know he is my protector; and most importantly, he has seen my heart break and I know he will do everything in his power from allowing that to happen again.

Turning 40, to me, is fantastic. I finally have it together, I am finally comfortable with me, and I am comfortable in my own skin. I say a friendly hello to everyone I see, and I truly mean it. I give a hug to most, and I truly mean it. There is nothing fake or pretentious about me. In my mind, life is too short to be focused on you and only you. I live every day I have been given to its fullest.

Tomato/Tomato vs Potato/Potato

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We all do things a little bit differently than each other, and that is okay. That is what makes us human, and what makes us individuals. We just have to remember that just because it is done differently than how we might do it, doesn’t make it wrong. Right?

I know the tale as old as time is the difference between children and their parents. As we all grow up, we learn that we are no longer our parents’ child, but we are an individual. Allowed to make our own choices, decisions, and minds up about life and how to live life.

Now with that comes the unexpected; the unexpected by our parents. Sometimes as parents we forget that our children do grow up, do change, and do adapt new ways and ideas of doing things. I can see it in my parents’ eyes sometimes. The fire, the smoke and the agitation, that the way they taught me to do something, isn’t the way I do it at all anymore. I may have done it their way growing up. “Their house, their rules”. But now that I have become an adult, I have found my way, my rhythm, or maybe a better more efficient way to do something.

I know it’s hard to think that our babies, that we are grooming so hard to be bright, smart, and independent people, actually do grow up to be bright, smart, independent people. How dare they step out on their own, use their own methods and concepts of doing something.

It is just like a spouse. How dare they do the laundry differently than you may have done it. Or how dare they put the kids to bed in a different manner. Monday night is “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”, how dare they read “Goodnight Moon”. But in the end, isn’t your child happy, your spouse happy, and everyone is safely tucked in bed? Yes, they are.

So in the end that is all we need to think and worry about, is the big picture, the grand scheme of things. Is it really worth getting worked up about? Is it really worth lecturing about? Or is it really worth that breath of fresh oxygen to try and correct someone? I personally don’t think it is. As long as it gets done, taken care of or finished in a timely manner, that to me is all that is important.

So as the saying goes…” TomAto / Tomaaato  OR PotAto / Potaaato”…who really cares as long as it is taken care of, everyone is happy, and no one was hurt in the process. Sometimes it’s just time to let go of the reigns and let people be who they are, and sadly let our babies grow up, whether we like it or not. It is the circle of life.

Accountability

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Every day we are accountable to someone or something. We are accountable to our bosses, our children, our spouses/partners, our pets, and even to ourselves.

There is not a day that goes by that we are not held accountable for something. The accountability that we owe ourselves is good health, good mind and spirit status, and just overall care for our bodies. But sometimes it is just nice to not be held accountable or responsible for anything.

Over the holiday time I was blessed to have a little “me time” to where I wasn’t really accountable to anyone else but myself. My kiddos were having a great time with their grandparents hunting and my partner in crime (my husband) was off working. So I took full advantage of the down time. Although it wasn’t that down.

I caught up on some much needed work, I got ahead on some much needed work to be done, and I also managed to squeeze in some pampering time for myself, and some movie time. I never ever have time to go see movies, so I carved out some time for myself and friends.

I was having dinner with another “single” mom on New Year’s Eve, and as we were driving, I was listening to her talk when all of the sudden it hit me… I had no one to go home to, no one to report in to, no babysitter to pay…I was free. I truly can’t remember the last time I wasn’t accountable to another human being.

Well that’s not entirely true…somewhere between my youth and adulthood, I had about 4 to 5 years in there that I truly wasn’t accountable for anyone but myself. And that would be my time in college. Yes, I had to check in with my parents, or friends so everyone knew I was safe and sound. But for the most part, the only person that I truly had to look out for was Number 1.

That sounds a little selfish, but it is so true. And as I sat in my friend’s car listening to her talk, it was such a nice liberating feeling, but at the same time I couldn’t imagine feeling like that every single day of my life. Only watching out for myself. So with all the late nights, loads of laundry, baths, bedtime stories, I really don’t know what I would do with my life if I didn’t have all of these wonderful little people, and big people, in my life.

It is nice to take a break from reality every once in a while, to recharge, or get caught up on some things that you have fallen behind on; but for the most part I would miss the chaos, the noise, the laughter, or the Legos being stepped on in the middle of the night while I get a bottle of water.

My life in a nutshell would be completely boring. But I have to admit, it has been almost 20 years since I was off the “accountability grid” for more than a day, and it did feel good to recharge the ol’ batteries. So do what you need to do for yourself to keep that smile on your face. It’s your life, you only get one shot at it.