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Monday, November 19, 2012

Aging with dignity and a lot Less Sleep

In the Tree House:  Aging with Dignity and a Lot less Sleep
By: Samantha S. Daviss

As we get older, we all start to realize that some of the funny stories we heard as kids from our parents, are starting to come to fruition.  Call it wisdom, laziness or just pure exhaustion…there are a few short cuts you take in life to keep you going, or to make life a little easier on you.

Especially after this week, you are going to be extremely exhausted; what with friends and family coming and going all week through your house, it will feel like you have a revolving front door. We realize we are blessed to be surrounded by so many friends and family over this holiday season, but nonetheless, we are still tired.

What made me think about this was just the other day I saw a “spoof ad” that had soft floor mops on the arms and knees of a baby’s pajama outfit, so as it crawled around the house it could buff the floors. At first I thought, “How awful”, then I started thinking it was pretty brilliant; definitely killing two birds with one stone.
Whether you want to admit to some of these idiosyncrasies or not, you know they are true, and you  know you have done at least one or two of them in your lifetime, or at least thought about doing them.

1.      You restart the dryer because you don’t want to fold the clothes at that moment, so you figure you can dry them once more to make sure all the wrinkles are out.
2.      You make a toast to yourself, for those 12 minutes, all the laundry is finished in your household.
3.      You restart the dishwasher, because…”OOPS, there’s a spot on a glass”, when in reality you just don’t feel like unloading it, and maybe someone else in the house will do it once the second run is complete.
4.      You know you put comfort and age before style and beauty when you are all geared up to go out for a night on the town, and the finishing touch to your outfit is to make sure your Dr. Scholl’s gels are in the bottom of your heels.
5.      Leaving the leaves in your yard just an extra day or two, since you don’t want to rake them up; but all the while thinking “Hmmmm, it just makes my yard look a little more festive for the holidays.” When truthfully, you’re just too lazy.
6.      Crawling into bed after a long hard day in your comfy clothes, just to be ready to spring out of bed in the morning to get the kids ready for school—to avoid that painful process of getting ready in the morning for a school run.
7.      Putting your workout clothes on in the morning rather than regular clothes, even though you have absolutely no intention of working out, but you just want to be comfy that day, and maybe let folks think you worked out.
8.      Getting your clean clothes out of the laundry room to wear rather than taking the time to put them away in your closet. Same difference, they are clean and ready to wear, just not put away.
9.      Thinking to yourself, alone, late at night on the couch…  “If one glass of wine is good for my heart, imagine how great an entire bottle is”.

No matter if it is the holiday season, or just a regular day on the crazy farm…we all need a little “help”, so whether those aides come naturally or a little self-induced; any shortcut or antic dote  you take doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad mother…it makes you witty and crafty.
Because the anxiety of “Go Time” perpetually builds daily, regardless of how many lists you make or how “prepared” you think you are for that afternoon’s activities…you are never ready for four o’clock hitting, in anticipation of the 5pm frenzy, cooking dinner while you use various body parts to simultaneously stir the pasta sauce, help your 8 year-old with his homework and keep your toddler from practicing his party trick of spinning the plates he filched from the dishwasher earlier while you chop the garlic.
The thing I always remind myself…is it will all be over in the blink of an eye. So for those who say they have lost themselves in their children and don’t know who they are any more as people…you haven’t lost yourself, you’ve just evolved into motherhood. That’s who and what you are now…a mommy. And pretty soon, your house will (sadly) be quiet, empty and all those years of picking up toys and dirt off the floor are gone. Now it’s just you, your spouse, and an immaculate house.
My philosophy since I became a mother is “Don’t sweat the small stuff”, I actually relish in the fact that at the end of the day my house is covered in toy guns, hot wheels, and puzzle pieces…means it was a great day in our house!

It will be gone before you know it. The fingerprints on the wall appear higher and higher. Then suddenly they disappear. ~ Dorothy Evslin

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Let Freedom Ring

In the Tree House: Let Freedom Ring
By: Samantha S. Daviss

Well today is the day! I am writing to you on Election Day for all public offices running, but of course as we all know the primary focus is the presidential election. This privilege only occurs once every four years, and as Americans it is our right, nay, our sole responsibility to VOTE, so I hope you did just that.

Democracy is defined as the following:
Democracy is a form of government in which all eligible citizens have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives. Democracy allows eligible citizens to participate equally—either directly or through elected representatives—in the proposal, development, and creation of laws. It encompasses social, economic and cultural conditions that enable the free and equal practice of political self-determination.
The term originates from the Greek δημοκρατία (dēmokratía) "rule of the people",[1] which was coined from δμος (dêmos) "people" and κράτος (kratos) "power" in the 5th century BCE to denote the political systems then existing in Greek city-states, notably Athens; the term is an antonym to ριστοκρατία "rule of an elite". The English word dates to the 16th century, from the older Middle French and Middle Latin equivalents.1

No matter how you voted or what the outcome may be, you have the right and allowance to voice your opinion, state how you feel, and complain if the outcome was against your wishes, ONLY if you voted! If you didn’t take the time or the effort to fill out your ballot, then your opinion is silent; therefore, your voice should remain silent as well.
Our fore fathers diligently put in place our constitution, and therefore our constitutional rights. But if you aren’t going to exercise those rights, then it is no one’s fault but your own of what the outcome may be.
Our country is an incredible place to live, and the pride that Americans hold is astounding. Now I don’t claim to be a political guru by any stretch of the imagination. I know what I believe in, I know my rights, and I know that my constitutional duty is to vote. And with having done that, I now have allowed myself the freedom to discuss, or not to discuss, my political views.
We need to recognize and stress the importance of what those before us fought for, risked their lives for, and effectively made their dreams become our realities. We salute all of the fallen soldiers that have, are, and will put their lives in danger to maintain our structural freedom and liberty to vote through democracy.
With this gift that has been bestowed upon us, we hold our destinies in the palm of our hands.


Now let’s play a little game, to see just how much of an American you are. Name the author of these quotes:



Answers to quotes:
1)     Abraham Lincoln
2)     Thomas Jefferson
3)     Jimmy Carter
4)     Walt Whitman
5)     Lyndon B. Johnson



1Wikipedia

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Enjoy them while you can

In the Tree House: Enjoy Them While you Can
By: Samantha S. Daviss

This past week has been extremely trying on our family, but I must say we have pulled together and battled through all the difficulties that we have endured.
My sweet, sweet mother in law, whom I adore, suffered a massive heart attack; but she is doing better, and her spirits are high and hopeful. But through all this, if I haven’t taken anything from it, I have certainly taken away the fact that you need to enjoy your loved ones while you have them in your life.
My husband has always been extremely close to his mom, which is one of the things that I love the most about him; which made it all the more easy for me to love her as well. Even when my husband and I were just dating, his mom immediately loved me, accepted me into the family with open arms, and has treated me like a daughter from day one. She and I have a very healthy, strong, and open relationship.
There was no judgment, no questions, just the fact that if her son loved me, she loved me. And the feeling is mutual, I feel extremely blessed and fortunate to have a mother I love immensely and a mother in law that I adore, so you could say I am double blessed.
But as I mentioned she is doing well and her spirits are high and hopeful, mainly due to the support and love she is receiving from all of her friends and family. Which got me thinking, why do we always go out of our way to visit someone while they are in the hospital, or sick, or even come to their funeral? Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we shouldn’t visit someone while they are in the hospital, sick or honor their life at their funeral; but what I am saying, is that we all seem to get so busy in life, that we forget to visit those people that are important to us, that we may not see on a daily basis, to just stop by for a quick visit to see how things are going in their life, or give them a quick ring on the phone.
The visitors, cards, and flowers are all so wonderful to someone who is sick or ailing in the hospital, because it lets them know that you are thinking of them. That support, I think, is so important not only to their emotions, but to their spirits and recovery as well. However, I think we should all take the time to let the people we love the most in this world know that we love them and care for them on a daily basis.
Don’t let another moment slip by without picking up the phone to that college friend you haven’t spoken to in months, and just let them know you care and are thinking about them. Because my theory is, is if the next time you see them is at their funeral, they won’t know you were there.
I’ve always told my husband, that at my funeral, I don’t want any sadness, I want a party! Why would I want all my loved ones moping around in all black and crying? I want everyone to have a party…wear red, wear jeans, just be comfortable, be happy that I had a wonderful life filled with great friends, family, an incredible husband and three perfect kids. Have some champagne, have some cake, don’t be burdened with the fact that I am gone, be happy that I was here. But that is just my philosophy on my life.
I am not trying to sound morbid at all, I am just trying to remind all of us that the past is the past, the future is unknown, but the present is a gift in the here and now; so why not enjoy and cherish those we love the most, now?
So when you have a loved one that is ill, continue to check on them, visit them and send your love and concern…but also remember to enjoy them and tell them so, while they are happy and healthy too.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Small Town Normalities

In the Tree House: Small Town Normalities
By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

My primary job as a real estate appraiser definitely takes me out of my comfort zone; I have been places, seen things, and encountered happenings that I wouldn’t normally encounter on an everyday basis. But this week being out on an appraisal with my dad, something happened, that made me giggle, and be so appreciative of living in a small town and being a native Texan.

This column is just meant for a quick giggle and to see if you know what I am talking about, and how many of these you can relate to, personally.

You can take a person out of a small Texas town, but you can’t take the small town out of a person…

You know you are form a small Texas town if…

15) When you see the football stadium lights, reminds you that it is Friday night;
14) You are introduced to a stranger as who your “kin folk” are, and what “they did” for a living;
13) You aren’t introduced by your name (or if you are a female, by your married name) you are introduced as someone’s grandchild or great grandchild (and by your maiden name, not your married name);
12) Directions are given by turning or stopping at landmarks that existed some 30 odd years ago at that particular spot;
11) When you see a tractor rolling down a major highway, as a mode of transportation and it’s not considered odd;
10) When the shoulder of a road is considered (or treated as) a “passing lane”;
9) Your dream car is a loaded SUV or pickup truck;
8) Boones Farm and Box Wine is your drink of choice;
7) Everyone gets excited about a new drive thru restaurant or the talk of a new Super Store coming to your town;
6) Seeing a sign on the side of a major highway leading out of town warning you that the horses are tethered with a sign that reads “Ponies aren’t lose”;
5) You wave to a total stranger on a back farm to market road and not even think twice about waving;
4) The first date you had (with your future husband) was a balancing contest on the rails of a railroad track off some forgotten road;
3) When you tell someone you will meet them at “The Y”, and you don’t mean the YMCA, you mean an actual “Y” in the dirt road;
2) If your country club has a little more “country” and a little less “club”;

And the #1 reason that lets you know you are from a small Texas town, love it, and wouldn’t trade it for the world or another lifestyle is…

1)When you are out on a back farm to market road, cattle are loose, so you call 9-1-1 to report it and the operator doesn’t hesitate to answer your request.

Everyone comes from different walks of life…and lives in different places. But it’s what you make of it and how much you enjoy it. Ignore the bad, make the good shine through, and just enjoy what you have been given. Never live your life wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Pat Down from Hell

In the Tree House: Pat Down from Hell

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Another adventure, another trip, another encounter with TSA under our belts…so it’s time once again to sit back be oh so thankful you weren’t with us!
Our family decided to take a quick trip up to the Rocky Mountains recently, to try and beat some of this Texas heat. But by family trip I mean, I got to travel with all three kids, all by myself for the very first time…so you see, this is going to be a good one…
 Our daddy/my husband was working, but he was flying into Denver later that evening to meet us there, but in the mean time “Good ol’ Mom” braved the adventure on her own.
So everything was going great. The packing went smoothly; I got myself and the two babies in one large duffle bag for five whole days; and our oldest in a smaller duffle bag. Not too bad if I do say so myself.
                Sidebar: I think if there were a degree from a university in packing, cramming, sitting, stretching, and all together maneuvering luggage so it will hold everything you need…I would have a gosh darn PhD in it.
And I did it all in a timely manner, I started about four days before our trip, so I wasn’t stressed or panicked, and I knew everything was washed and ready to go. And trip day finally arrived!! We had a fairly early flight; it was around 9:30 that morning. So for most normal people, that can just throw their clothes on, grab their bags and head out the door, that’s not too much of a challenge—but a mother of three boys, who all they want to do is sleep and eat…it’s a challenge. So I got everyone up and charged at around 6am for a 6:45am departure from our driveway. Leaving us plenty of time to park and check in at Love Field, which is just an hour from our house.
We were all so excited. One last fun family vacation before the end of summer, and we were getting to see our daddy that night. So everyone was in a great mood and super excited. Once clothes were on, breakfasts were eaten, we were on the road. We missed our departure time by about 10 minutes, so not too bad for a dumb ol’ girl and three monkeys.
All was well until we hit the outskirts of downtown Dallas. As my oldest used to call it when he was younger…”stinky town”, because of the sewage plant just as you enter the city. And that is my landmark reference, which is where the traffic was stopped!!! So needless to say I had about another 30 to 45 minutes until I reached the airport. And the clock was ticking.
We finally arrived; and what seemed to take an hour, found a parking spot in the garage; with only 45 minutes to spare until our flight left. So I was frantic. I strapped everyone into their strollers, and car seat carriers. My middle son was in this really cool device that you could attach his car seat to, and it turned it into a stroller. Well is wasn’t so cool, when my oldest was running to keep up with me and the poor baby got tumped out onto his head on the concrete of Love Field’s parking garage. But he took it like a man and the motley crew kept running.
Now picture this…it’s not just me and three boys running; it’s me;  three boys; one double stroller; another in a car seat stroller;  a huge diaper bag; another huge carry-on bag for snacks, toys and games; the youngest baby’s car seat; and two pieces of luggage. (Seeing the picture yet—still glad you aren’t with us, huh?)
We make it to check in. I am sweaty like a pig (yes folks sweating, not glistening like some Hollywood starlet, SWEATING). I check us all in, and the guy doesn’t see the baby (who is a lap child) to check in, because he is blocked and hidden in the stroller by the two massive bags. So after TSA sends us all the way back to check-in, to retrieve our boarding pass for the baby, we now (literally) have 10 minutes to get through TSA and R-U-N to our gate (still with a stroller, two big bags, and a car seat in tow).
We send our bags through the X-ray machine and of course as usual they have to check my diaper bag like 100 times. But that is no surprise to me.
But there has been a turn of events, the TSA lady pulls me to the side, and literally starts patting me down in places, I didn’t know I had (because I look pretty dangerous with three kids, two diaper bags, and a stroller). At this point I was balling crocodile tears down my face because we were going to miss our flight, and I kept telling her over and over, but she kept going slower and slower.
So she continued with my pat down, and by the time she finished, I felt like I needed to smoke a cigarette, she got that personal with me.
But while I was being rubbed down like Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey, the sweetest lady asked me what gate we were leaving out of…and she said she would tell the flight attendant we were stuck at TSA, but we were coming.
Once I was released from the jaws of TSA hell, we were all four on the move again…running like I have never run before. And as we arrived at the gate, the sweet lady that told the stewardess we were coming, met me back halfway down the hallway to tell me the flight had been delayed an hour!
I had never been so happy of a late flight in my entire life. I started crying all over again, like a baby, and she and I embraced in the middle of the Love Field terminal (yep, never seen her before in my life; and we are hugging like sisters). So after we collected ourselves, changed into fresh diapers (the babies, not me); it was time to board.
And yes again folks, I had my typical 10am (airplane) cocktail to start my trip out right. Here’s to travelling with the Daviss circus.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Endless Bag

In the Tree House: The Endless Bag
By: Samantha S. Daviss

If you listen to country and western music at all, then you have probably heard the song by Robert Earl Keen, Five Pound Bass, it is one of his all time classics. Well the reason I bring this up, is to enlighten you into the throes of my diaper bag conundrums that I encounter from lugging around my massive diaper bag on a daily basis.

I always tell people you wouldn’t know it by my physique because I am not some exercise guru, or marathon queen, but I always say I can bench press a Buick. And from the daily happenings in my life with typically one 36-pounder on one hip; a 25-pounder on the other; a purse and this THING that I kindly refer to as a diaper bag…it is actually so heavy, I have to put both my boys in my double stroller before I can attach the bag to the handle of the stroller for the pure fact that it will dump over.

I never really thought about just how heavy it really was until my girlfriend picked it up for me one day to throw it into my stroller. I’ve always joked about it, and stated the obvious, that I have everything in it except for the kitchen sink. But in reality, I really think I do have everything in my diaper bag.

So upon her revelation of just how heavy my diaper bag was it got me thinking…hmmmm I wander just exactly what “The Beast” weighs? Well, it sure weighs more than that 5-pound bass…so I’ve decided to send Mr. Keen a rendition of his song, entitled 15-Pound Diaper Bag, making the lyrics about all its possessions and the daily activities it has to endure.

Ode of the diaper bag…
I know I am important, because she never leaves home without me.
My seams hurt on a daily basis because they are literally busting;
But my possessions are oh so important to the little people that sit on me, drag me, and ride me like a horse
In my depths you will find diapers, wipes, toy trucks and tiny little cars
Coloring books, crayons, snacks for all ages…and let’s not forget their sippy cups filled with juice

I also harbor a small first aid kit, a change of clothes for them both if there is an “accident”, and a bee sting kit just in case
Two blankets, sunscreen, bug spray, a rubber snake, a bendy bunny rabbit, and books for their learning enjoyment
And let’s not forget what’s inside the bag that’s inside me—powder, Clorox wipes, diaper rash cream, and any sort of baby paraphernalia you might need for an afternoon outing
So that is what’s on my insides, but my daily adventures are forces to be reckoned with
I get lifted, thrown into the back of the car, set on the dirty floor, hung from the stroller
Spilled on, colored on, crawled on, stepped on, loaded on top of
Yet at the end of the day I know I have served my purpose and been the best diaper bag that I could be, I was there for my family when they needed me.

I know talking about our diaper bag seems silly, but there are just some things in life that get overlooked that we take for granted that it will always be there at our beckon call, like a silly ol’ diaper bag. Now this isn’t necessarily about the life of our diaper bag, what’s in it, and what it has to go through on a daily basis…but it is about all of us recognizing the important things in our lives that we may overlook to be the simplest of objects or the people in our lives that we may overlook and take for granted.

Because one day you may turn around and that so-called “diaper bag” may be in shreds, torn, busted at the seams and needing to be discarded. So it is always important to pay attention and realize the importance of that “diaper bag” in your life and what it sacrifices for you on a daily basis.

Be kind to all of those around you, all those you love, and never leave each other’s sight without letting them know just exactly how you feel about them. My friends all make fun of me that when I leave them [and my family] for any period of time, I cry. It is a mixture of happy tears and sad tears, but nonetheless tears. They don’t last long, and I don’t make a big dramatic play of it, but in hindsight, my friends and family never ever walk away from me wondering where they stand in my life and in my heart.

Time Passes too Quickly

In the Tree House:  Time Passes too Quickly
By: Samantha S. Daviss

Oddly enough we had one of the best nights as a family, that I could remember us having in a long time. And when I tell you what we were doing to have so much fun, you are going to think we are nuts…but even during and after the fact my husband and I sat down and talked about how much fun it was.
The five of us were playing “hot potato” with a baby diaper. I know, I know it sounds weird, and a little gross too. But the diaper was clean, just to preface the oddity of our family. My husband and I had just changed the babies into their fresh diapers and PJs getting everyone ready for bed. They were up running around our room having fun and wrestling with each other. Then our oldest son came in, and for whatever reason, one of us started throwing the previous diaper around, yelling “Hot Potato”.
Do you remember playing that game as a kid? It was always one of my favorites to play on the play ground at recess with friends. It is where you, typically have a ball or a bean bag, not a diaper, and you toss it around the room or circle yelling “hot potato” and whomever ends up dropping it, has the “Hot Potato” last, and is essentially the loser.
But our game kind of had its own rules. We were basically just throwing a diaper around the room. Even the one-year old was joining in on the fun, and our two year old was going just absolutely nuts with excitement. He would run from person to person yelling at the top of his lungs “Hot Tato”. And our oldest was having a ball, sliding in on the carpet, launching the diaper at one of us.
Amongst all the fun, laughter, and chaos, all I could do was sit and watch my family, in sort of an out of body experience, hoping that somewhere, some other family was having as much fun together on a spontaneous occurrence as we were right then at that moment.
There were no cell phones, no TVs, and no computers running. It was just the Fab Five, having a ball together…and yes, it was because of a diaper that we were playing “Hot Potato” with. But that just goes to show, it is the simplest, most spontaneous things that can create the most fun in our lives. We don’t need big fancy toys, elaborate trips, or all the high-tech gadgets that we all think we need in our lives to be close tight-knit families.
But after about 30 minutes of playing and everyone being so happy and excited, it was getting late, and we had school the next day. So unfortunately, I had to play “bad cop”, and shut the game down and send everyone off to bed. When in actuality they should have probably all been in bed about 45 minutes sooner. But those are the precious times and moments in your life that you throw caution to the wind, and toss the rule book out the window, and just live in the moment. Those moments really don’t happen that often, but when they do, you need to learn to hang on to them and savor them to the last drop.
Ever heard the saying “Suck the marrow out of life”? Well this was one of those times. It was a moment in time that my little family was laughing, enjoying, and just having a ball with one another…and it just happened. No planning, no expenses, nothing…just pure fun.
So after my husband and I got everyone settled down and tucked in bed, we sat on the couch together laughing and talking about the fact that we couldn’t remember the last time we had so much fun with our kids as a family.
I can only hope that everyone, every once in a while, gets to experience the pure elated joy that our family experienced, together, playing “Hot Potato” with a baby’s diaper.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Lasting Bonds

In the Tree House: Lasting Bonds
By: Samantha S. Daviss

The older we get I think we begin to realize that life is not a popularity contest, more of a security contest. So my question is…why does it seem more difficult to form those deeper, longer lasting bonds than it seemed to be when we were younger? Were we just more open and accepting of people, their personalities, and their quirks when we were younger; and as we have grown older our friendships and relationships have grown too? Or as young adults were we too naïve to recognize any faults in our friends? Or as older adults are we just that much more critical and protective of ourselves, our families and whom we allow into our lives?

This thought crossed my mind not too long ago for one reason or another. And what was odd, is that very next day I was watching a talk show, and it was the subject of their group discussion segment, which I found to be extremely odd; but it put my mind at ease knowing that I was not the only person wondering this myself.

I think as young people or young adults we feel that if we aren’t surrounded by people at all times, and in the center of it all, then we aren’t popular, or well liked; and that of course is just the insecurity of being an adolescent or a teen. But as we grow older, we learn that we are who we are, and hopefully people will accept you for just that…the person you have become; and as adults we learn that sometimes it’s okay to stand alone, or be alone. In fact at times I crave alone time. Now don’t get me wrong there are those times in life that I may be having a bad day and feel lonely, but then I have to sit back and remind myself that my life is full of wonderful people—friends, family, acquaintances, and people I haven’t even met. So we are never truly alone.

Someone once told me, that if you leave this Earth with 3-5 really close friends, that truly know you inside and out, and still love you, then you have had a very successful life. So that leads me back to my question…as adults are we more critical of whom we allow in our lives, or are we just more protective? My point is, as adults are we more apt to pick out people’s flaws, or are we still just as accepting as we were as teens, but now we are just more protective and thorough on our selection process.

Meaning, we make new friends, but we are more cognitively aware of the personality types that really jive with our personality because we have grown up, and we know what type of person works best with our personality or agree with our outlook or philosophy on life in general. I personally think it is the latter. I don’t think we become more closed off or more critical about who our friends are as we get older; I just think we are more aware of who we are as adults, which allows us to step back and really get to know someone, and decide if their personality traits work with ours.

Because let’s face it, we are all so busy as adults, with kids, jobs, activities, travel, school, you name it; it’s on our plates on a daily basis. So I think we are just more aware of who fits into our lifestyle better than others. That, and we realize, that we aren’t running for homecoming or prom anymore, so not everyone in the entire world has to like you. And that is another great piece of advice I received as a maturing adult (way back) in my twenties…not everyone will or has to like you; and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person or them a bad person, it just means that on some level you guys don’t connect.

So remember, whether you are standing in a crowded room, or in the middle of a rain storm all alone; you need to be comfortable with who you are and who you surround yourself with…you never are truly alone in the world. And those bonds and friendships you have made throughout your life, the ones that you call family are far and few between, so recognize them, hold on to them, and never ever take them for granted.


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

My Cup Runneth Over

In the Tree House:  Mom’s Cup Runneth Over
By: Samantha S. Daviss

For the second year in a row we sent our oldest son off to summer camp. It was the same camp I went to as a kid, so I know it is fantastic and he has a blast while he is there. The thing I love most about sending him there is we get to hear great stories from him year-round, until we are ready to pack his trunk up again for the next summer.

As a mother of three boys, I know there is a fine line that I have to walk, especially as they get older. I can’t slobber my kisses all over them, or hug them in public, or hold their hand for fear of utter humiliation on their part. God forbid mom gets to show any affection to her baby boy in front of “the guys”. But I get it, I really do; and sometimes my husband has to reign me in and tell me to stop smooching all over him, because he’ll never hear the end of it.

But I still know that no matter how old he gets, he still loves dear old mom. It’s the times that we build a fort together in the middle of the living room and crawl underneath to talk about his day or to talk about him leaving for camp and all the fun and exciting things he is going to get to do. It’s the times that we go out on our special one-on-one “dates” just to have a little “us” time; and he hates it when I call them dates, but at the end of our dinner and movie together, he tells me he had a great time.

But the ultimate sign that I know he truly does love dear old mom, no matter how big he gets, is when he is sitting on the bus that is about to whisk him away to camp and two fun-filled weeks of excitement; and he finds a seat by the window to sit and wave to me and give me our secret hand signal for “I love you” until the bus pulls out of the parking lot.

As we all sit in the parking lot in angst of loading the kids on to the bus, I watch all the mothers of girls run around fixing their hair, tightening their hair bows, climbing on to the bus to take pictures of them sitting in their seats with their camp friends; and I sit there and wonder just how far my son would have to crawl under the seat, if I climbed on his bus to take pictures of him and his buddies, to avoid the total and complete humiliation he just had to endure by his “dorky” mom.

But even though I am “not allowed” by virtue of the ‘Boy Code’ to humiliate, show too much affection, or annoy my sons in any way…essentially I have to remain calm, cool, and collected around my boys and their friends for the remainder of my life, showing no emotion whatsoever—it’s okay, because I know in my heart of hearts, that I am and always will be the first true “girl love” in their life.

And I can only hope that one day my boys find the kind of happiness in their marriage or relationships that I have found in my marriage; and I know that those girls will be the luckiest girls in the world if my boys love them even half as much as they love me and I love them.

People always ask me if I was disappointed that I never had a girl, and my response always is…”God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me my three boys”.

So you see, even though boys’ love for their moms is slightly a bit more subtle than a girls’ love and affection; it’s the little signs you have to look for which make you appreciate their affection even that much more.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

In the Tree House: Golf Balls and Mayonnaise

In the Tree House: Golf Balls and Mayonnaise

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

As most of you know 99% of my writings are my own original thoughts or works. But every once in a while I run across an article I read or an email I received, and albeit that you too have more than likely read or seen them yourselves, I just have to share these thoughts.
This is an email, which I have seen several times, but like I say “It’s an oldie, but a goody”.
The message is clear, but the contents of your “jar” will obviously vary from each other’s; however, the important thing is to recognize and center your life around your “golf balls”, but always remember to make time for your beer.

Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are
not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured their entire
contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this
jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your
friends and your favorite passions--- and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

And the sand is everything else---the small stuff. I personally see this as all the stuff that you shouldn’t lose sleep over at night. What someone else thinks of you, what someone else is doing...things that shouldn’t take space up in your life, just nonsensical fillers.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles
or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities.  Like I said the rest is just sand, nonsensical space in your life.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the two beers represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend.

****************************************************************************
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS... IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN, and not worrying about getting wet, messing up your hair or your clothes; that is what a dryer is for.

I know it’s easier said than done to live life to its fullest, every single day...but at least enjoy life to its fullest every single day. I say, grab that jar full of golf balls, and just shake ‘em up, enjoy them and then go play a round with them. Because one of these days, those golf balls will all roll away, and you won’t know what happened to them if you don’t pay them the right amount of attention.

Live your life your way, on your terms, and quit worrying so much about what others are doing or think of you.

Like I said...enjoy YOUR life, not just life, but YOUR life. It’s the only one you’ve been given...so learn to live it!

What you should know by 35

In the Tree House: At 35, You Should Know…

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

So to conclude my thoughts on life, and what you should “Have done by…” and should “Know by…35”. This list again is more inspiration from the article I read than the actual verbiage.  It was more or less my springboard into allowing me to collect and write down, from my life’s experiences, what you should know by the time you are 35…

At 35, you should know….
1)      How to love another, without completely losing yourself, and changing who you are for that person.
2)      That  you are a good person, no matter how much someone cuts you down to size. Be confident in who you are.
3)      Is that just because a “friend” or a “spouse” walks out of your life, you are still a good person. There are two sides to every story, yes, but sometimes relationships just end.
4)      Not to believe everything you hear. If you feel that a story or rumor about someone is false, then my theory is to always go straight to the horse’s mouth and ask the truth before you start believing what you hear. Because 99% of the time, the truth has been twisted or falsified.
5)      Exactly how you feel about having kids, and are honest with your partner about it.
6)      How to quit a job (with dignity and without burning bridges), break up with the opposite sex (without completely crushing them), and confront a friend about an issue (without destroying the friendship).
7)      When to try harder and when to walk away. This goes back to the old saying “If you love them, set them free; if it’s meant to be, they will return”.
8)      The names of the Secretary of State, your great-grandmothers, and the best coffee shop and bakery in town.
9)      How to live alone, even if you don’t like it.
10)   How to work outside the family business, before being groomed to take it over. It is so important to have worked for yourself or in the corporate world before working for family. You need to know that you are able to stand on your own two feet, independently.
11)   That even though your childhood might not have been perfect or ideal, it’s OVER!
12)   What category everyone in your life falls into; meaning, knowing who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
13)   That everyone lives their lives differently than you, and not to judge, but accept and move on. You may not agree, but then again, they may not agree with your lifestyle choices either.
14)   That you shouldn’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do, or isn’t your fault. Be strong, but don’t be stubborn.
15)   Where to go when your heart, mind and soul need cleansing—be it your best friend’s kitchen table, a yoga mat, or a long hike into the hills.

These are just a few points that I have gathered from my time here on Earth. You may completely disagree, or one or two of them my spark a thought in your mind. But remember, the most important thing you need to know about your entire life is…to be true to yourself. Don’t rely so much on outside comments, influences, or actions to determine what you want from life and what you know is right for you.

In the Tree House: Boys will be boys…

In the Tree House: Boys will be boys…

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

Well ol’ mom is standing out in the wings once again. If you don’t already know by now, I have three boys, three male dogs, my husband…and then there is me (and the bunny rabbit too, but the jury is still out on whether it is a girl or boy…I am claiming her to be a girl).

So if you have ever had a boy, they go through the “Daddy only phase”. Our oldest son did it. Only Daddy could hold him, play with him or be with him. And now, well now, our middle son is going through this wonderful phase.

I say this all in jest, but it makes lowly old mom feel like a cooking, feeding, cleaning apparatus. When Daddy is home from work, Mommy doesn’t exist. Which when I watch them together it melts my heart, but I can’t even change his diaper, or put him down for his nap or bathe him or anything. So in my mind, I really don’t take it personally, but it kind of makes me laugh when I gave him life, I fed him, and clean him, and do his laundry, I clean up after him…and nothing.

So to all you moms out there who have ever experienced (or are experiencing) this…”This too shall pass”, I promise; I’ve been through it once. And as much as it kills you, or your little green envy monster starts to surface, just remember…they are and will forever be your baby boy. And remember, when you first gave them life, you were the only one they wanted to be held by, fed by, and loved by. So I guess you could say turnabout is fair play.

Therefore, with this new realization in our household, I sat with my 13 month old the other day and we had a really long talk together. Since he is the baby and our last, he and I decisively (unbeknownst to him really) came to the conclusion that he isn’t going to grow any more, learn to talk, or go to college either. He will be my little baby forever.

And the other phase our middle one has entered is a wee bit of separation anxiety. And by a “wee bit”, I mean standing out in the front yard with our sitter, while I head out to work, and chasing my car three yards away in his little PJs. Now tell me that doesn’t make you feel like the worst mother?

Or my favorite is when he sees me straightening or curling my hair in the morning, he says “I go too momma, I go to work too.” And he runs to his closet to get his little shoes on. But the worst is, once you maneuver your way out of the house, with the distraction of sending him to the backyard to play, or saying you’re taking the trash out; and then he realizes you’re gone and you can hear his blood-curdling scream from three blocks away.

But then, when grandma comes to take him to go swimming or to see a choo choo (a train), and then he is just fine being apart from Mommy and Daddy.

Little minds absolutely fascinate me. When people have said in the past that at this stage of their lives the world revolves around them, they weren’t kidding. All the stories, anecdotes, giggles, and smiles, are what make all the sleepless nights, broken lamps, and scratched walls ludicrous points.

So as a mom, I have so many funny stories of survival (for myself) to tell, but to me, my life is just one big happy ending. And I am grateful everyday that I have these little people in my life to spice it up just a little bit every single day.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I was Raised, I didn't Just Grow Up....


In the Tree House: I was Raised…I didn’t just Grow up!
By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

As I have become more involved in the throes of motherhood, I am noticing a huge difference in this generation, and my generation, and even that of my parents’ and my grandparents’.
Now I am not going to sit here and talk about how I had to walk barefoot for 10 miles to get to school, or how cell phones didn’t even exist, and when they finally did come out they were either carried in a bag or the size of my backseat…but I am going to talk about kids’ attitudes and expectations.
What got me thinking on this was my girlfriend put a post on Face Book, asking other mothers if we made our kids pick up their toys, or if we did it just to get it over and done with, and done our way. And even though I didn’t respond, it really got my brain thinking…I am guilty of both. I would say half the time, I require that my kids pick up their messes, no matter the outcome or if it is put away to my standards; I am trying to instill some sort of self-respect and responsibility into my kids, by requiring them to care for their things. But, then there are those days, that I am on a mission, and I just want it picked up, and put away in its proper place.
But what got me thinking was I think we “my generation” (the late 20s, 30-somethings, and 40-somethings) do way too much for our kids, and don’t expect enough out of them. When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to go outside, watch TV or play with my friends until all of my chores were completed.
And that is where our downfalls are; I think as parents (and I am guilty of it too so please don’t think that I am pointing any fingers, because if I am, just remember I have three more pointing back at myself) that in an age where we are always in a rush, on the go, and not connecting as families the way we used to; the lack of responsibility placed on our children, lies on our shoulders.
This leads me to this great clip that I recently ran across…
I was raised, I didn’t just grow up. I was taught to speak when I entered a room, say please and thank you, and to have respect for my elders. To get up off my lazy butt and let the elder in the room have my chair, say yes sir and no sir; while lending a helping hand to those in need. Hold the door for the person behind me, say excuse me when it’s needed, and to love people for whom they are, not for what I can get from them. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated. 



As I began to pick this phraseology apart, I started to feel an ache inside of me. It makes me sad to watch this generation, our future, fall apart, and fail at living and respecting mankind. 

Not only is it so important for children to speak when spoken to and to initiate a greeting to a fellow peer or to an adult, for the sake of pure manners; but it bodes well on their families and their upbringing; all the while teaching them how to survive in the “real world” as adults. If you are going to make it in any aspect of the working world, you have to know how to speak and connect with other people, and how to show them respect.
“Do unto others; as you would have them do unto you.”
It’s pretty simple, and cuts down to the bone. Treat those, the way you want to be treated. Especially the elders in your life, and in society for that matter. They have earned it…most of them have survived numerous wars, the Great Depression, countless presidents, and an ever changing economy. So like it says, get off your lazy butt and show them a little respect. Because, one day, we will all be in their shoes and it would certainly be nice if some “young whipper snapper” got out of their seat so you could rest your weary bones.
And this one is my pet peevs…look someone straight in the eye, say your greeting while offering a firm handshake. That is Manners 101…it’s not hard, it’s dignified and respectful of the person you are talking to. Male or female, say hello and shake their hand. No one person is better than anyone else on this planet; so acknowledge everyone’s existence. And in addition to acknowledging someone, that goes hand in hand with recognizing their presence. So be sure you are not so absorbed into your own life and own daily routine, that you are unaware of that person right behind you or getting off the elevator with you…hold the door for them.
And the last point that truly rings the loudest in my mind. Love people for who they are, not what you can get from them. Don’t stay with someone, or choose them over another activity just because you may get a “sweeter deal” out of that person. Be with them because you want to, because you love them, and for what they can teach you. Not for what they can give you.
Human kindness really is pretty simple; but raising kids is the toughest thing you will ever have to do. Because who they are is a reflection of who you are. When I became a mother, I always told myself, that if my grandkids come to visit me, send me cards on my birthday, and love me unconditionally, and are just truly good people to their core; then that means I was a good mother. Because I taught my kids well, which in turn lead to another great generation.