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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Hiring, Must be Highly Qualified for Position

By: Samantha S. Daviss


In our youth, fresh out of college we are all so eager to enter the “grown up world” and start our careers. If you are one of those lucky souls that steps into your dream job, which propagates into your career, then so be it.

Bright eyed and eager we are willing to do most any sort of job, just so we can start earning that paycheck, pay rent, and hopefully have enough left over after bills to have some great fun on the weekends, or as it may be in some cases, during the week.

But after reading the following job description, who in their right mind would apply for this job, nay career?

1.       Must be able to work 135+ hours a week

2.       Ability to work overnight, associate needs are pending

3.       Willingness to forgo any breaks or vacation time

4.       Work mostly standing up and/or bending down

5.       Must be able to lift up to 75 lbs. on a regular basis

6.       Ph.D. in psychology or real-life equivalent

7.       Crisis management skills a must

8.       Ability to manage a minimum of 10-15 projects at one time

9.       Ability to communicate at all levels (basic to advanced)

10.   Ability to improvise

11.   Proficient in handling sticky situations (literally and figuratively)

12.   Ability to coordinate multiple, often conflicting, schedules

13.   Ability to make independent decisions on behalf of others

14.   Ability to work with associates with minimal ability

15.   Ability to work in a chaotic environment

16.   Frequent travel; larger vehicle driving experience a plus

17.   Excellent interpersonal skills and a collaborative approach

18.   Flexible when it comes to surprise requests

19.   Demonstrated knowledge and experience in negotiating, counseling, and the culinary arts

20.   Unlimited patience

21.   Understanding of social media, mobile devices and video games

22.   Understanding of finance

23.   Understanding of medicine

24.   Strong autonomy and Selflessly driven

25.   Valid driver’s license, CPR certification and Red Cross membership recommended but not required

26.   Ability to wear several hats, professional and domestic

27.   Positive disposition at all times

If you answered yes to obtaining any of those abilities, then you just might have found your ideal career or profession.

Oh, but the one thing that was left off that list was the pay….the pay is $0. That’s right you get absolutely no pay, no benefits, just lots of hugs and kisses, cuddle time, and the occasional “Thank You”.

Think you might be interested? If though there is no monetary compensation, the rewards are endless…

So when applying for this position, in the subject of your email, just enter the word “Mom”. That’s right, this is just a partial description, yet a very thorough description of just a single day in the life of a great mom. Remember to thank your mom today for all she does for you, because she doesn’t walk around the house asking for your appreciation, she just does was needs to be done to keep the household moving and functioning in a proper fashion.

Although it is absolutely the most rewarding job on the planet, it is also the toughest. So remember that next time you ask your mom or your wife if your socks have been cleaned and folded…run down the check list first to see what else she has had on her plate for the day…quite possibly it slipped her mind to wash your stinky ol’ socks.


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