Powered By Blogger

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Am I so Victorian I need to wear a Brooch?


By: Samantha S. Daviss

I get it, the times are changing and I need to roll with the punches. But there are some rolls, hills, and valleys this ol’ gal just isn’t willing to take. Call me old fashioned, call me a stick in the mud, but Momma has rules and expects them to be obeyed regardless of what “all the other parents are doing”. Because my response to that is…”I don’t live with all the other parents”. I’m not some strict military mom, in fact I get run over too much…but I do have rules that need following.

My rules are pretty simple, they are two-fold, well three-fold I guess…I don’t want my kids hurt, I don’t want their “love” interests hurt, and I don’t want myself hurt.

Some of these rules don’t quite yet apply to my boys, just due to the fact that my kids are still too young (and scared of girls), but believe you me this momma is going to stick to her guns when the time comes. I feel like every time I lay down the law, not only do I get the biggest eye roll in the world, but I feel like I should be out on the Prairie, with a Little House, in my petticoat, milking the goats, and wearing a lace Victorian blouse topped off with my great-grandmother’s Cameo Brooch.

I don’t think the things I ask (or demand) are that far-fetched:

1.       If you are not in high school, then when you want to go on a “date” to the movies, you either have to be in a large group, or accompanied by an adult.
2.       If a girl is over…the door stays open. PERIOD! (again, doesn’t apply to us yet, but it will)
3.       TVs aren’t allowed in kids’ bedrooms, and that is mainly to draw them out of their rooms so that their family may see them once in a blue moon.
4.       If you are going to take a girl out, you must call her or ask her in person…no texting.
5.       Don’t even think of sneaking out…I will find you. And trust me, you don’t want me to find you.
6.       School comes first…everything else comes next.
7.       Keep your eye on the prize…and that prize is you and your self-respect.
8.       Don’t let others pick on you. Don’t start a fight, but stand up for yourself, no one is any better (or worse) than you are.
9.       If I set a curfew for you, you had better be in the house by curfew.
10.   If you screw up…you will lose all privileges. PERIOD!
11.   And if you talk back to me, your dad, or any adult for that matter…I will smack you upside the head, no questions asked.

My boys are sweet, kind, loving little gentlemen; and I expect the world of them. But what they don’t understand, is that Momma’s rules have a hidden agenda behind them…I don’t want to be a grandma before I have grey hair, and I certainly don’t want to be a grandma before my two youngest are out of Pull-Up diapers themselves (not that this is an issue AT ALL in our house, right now). Do you see the irony here? It’s not very humorous irony, but irony nonetheless.

I don’t feel like my rules are that crazy or far-fetched. But I certainly get to see lots of the whites of my 12-year-olds eyes from thinking I am some deranged lunatic that lives in the dinosaur era (any dinosaur era) for laying down the rules (as they apply to him today). My favorite is him not understanding the going to the movies in a group (or with an adult). But I am pretty sure when he grows up and has kids of his own, he’ll understand what good ol’ mom meant, just as we all do as kids.

It may just be me, but kids in my mind are being “forced” to grow up too fast these days. And if I can force protection on them a little longer then so help me. They may hate me for it now, but in the end I think deep down they will appreciate it. I always tell my boys to blame it on me, I’ll take the heat. If they aren’t allowed to go somewhere or don’t want to go somewhere, blame it on me. I don’t want them to feel like they have to grow up too fast to keep up with everyone around them. There are some days my oldest acts like a pre-teen, and some days when I still see the little boy in him fighting to get out.

It is such a hard age, and if my rules, although may be hated, can protect him a little longer…then so be it.

Maybe I am too rigid, and set in my ways. But I think it’s okay not to always “keep up with the changing times”. Some of those good old fashioned rules still hold a lot of value with me. Be it from my formative years, my parents’ formative years, or even my grandparents’ formative years…I feel that kids don’t have enough rules these days. Hence all the bullying, snarky attitudes, and disrespect for adults. They are not taught any more that adults are their superiors, they actually think adults are their equals and they can speak to them however they desire.

My whole point to rules is they will learn to respect others and themselves, and every child, whether they like it or not, needs boundaries.

No comments: