I just want to be ME!

We are so many things to so many people, that sometimes they forget we are just us. Or at least we want to be just us.

We are spouse; we are parent; we are employee; we are offspring; we are aunt or uncle. If you are a mommy, then you are all those things plus cook, taxi driver, laundry fairy, alarm clock, masseuse, bedtime story provider, project doer, taxi driver (yes, I know I already said that), calendar keeper, bank account, lunch maker…. the list goes on and on.

But sometimes the spouse forgets that you are just you, and really want to be just you. It is nothing against the family, you’re the marriage, or the kids, or anything. But sometimes it is just nice to be you. Be able to have a meal without spilled milk, be able to have a conversation without a million interruptions, be able to laugh (or cuss) without having to explain or apologize, be able to drive your car and jam out to the 80s without being made fun of or having eyes rolled at you; or have mindless conversations with girlfriends without a guilt trip of being gone.

But more importantly we want to be put first sometimes, well most of the time, by our spouse. I found the best quote the other day:

“Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not what’s left over
after you have given your best to everyone else.” –Dave Williams

This quote can obviously go both direction…husband to wife; and wife to husband. I have always prided myself on being one of those wives that puts my husband on an equal playing field if not a little higher than my kids. I know that may sound awful to some of you. But I don’t mean I love my husband more than my kids, I just mean that he and I are a team. We don’t let the kids make our decisions.

I always say, that if our marriage isn’t working, then none of “this” will work. And that is so true. And besides the fact, one day you will wake up as a team, and your house will be empty; and all you will hear are crickets. So, make sure you both stay connected and on the same page.

But with that, your spouse needs to return that favor, and give you their best, not whatever is left over. I know…parenting, activities, work, responsibilities; it’s all exhausting, but if you really prioritize what is important, then life is great and a piece of cake. But sometimes, I feel that mommies, especially, are forgotten. Forgotten in the sense that they are people, not these machines expected to cook, clean, pick up toys, have everyone’s life prepared and ready to go. Sometimes mommies like to hang out, or be crazy and jump off the boat dock like a teenager, or jam out in her car, or be looked at as that girl he fell in love with; not some crazy woman who is always tired, always barking orders and time stamps to everyone, but that carefree gal that sometimes just wants to ask a simple question, or be herself without responsibilities.

It's hard sometimes “adulting” but you must take care of you. And remind your spouse or your partner that the person they fell in love with is still in there, and would still love the affection, the attention, the pedestal they once stood on to resurface occasionally. Because as a mommy, even though we are loved the most by our kids, because they know we are unconditionally there for them; they also demand the most from us as well. And therefore, their admiration for us is pushed to the bottom of that hollow well, we call love.

So, those around us need to remember, that sometimes, we just want to be ourselves.