Just Breathe

By: Samantha Daviss

Telling people to remove stress from their lives is a futile concept. Stress is all relative depending on the situation (in my eyes). There is Macro stress and that to me is the stress that is inevitable and always going on around you; and then there is Micro stress, and that’s the stress that pops up, wears us down the most and then is gone in the blink of an eye, but while it was here, it was exhausting.

Macro stresses to me are basically the goings on in our daily lives:

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  --Will your kids do well in school?

· --Are your kids safe?

·-- Is your spouse safe on their business trip?

·--Will I get in a car wreck on my way to work?

·--- The bills are larger this month, can I pay them?

---- Having to make your past, the past…and stay there.

·---Having to deal with a co-worker you may not get along with very well.

· ----A family member is ill, but their health issue is in remission, but it is still foremost on your mind 24/7.

·----Understanding all the war and politics going on overseas, and why our military experts are a part of it.

·---Why is there so much anger in the world?

·  ---Why are our kids growing up in a society that they only know how to communicate through devices and technology?

Macro stress to me is stress that is continual, and no matter how many times doctors or health care professionals tell you to remove all stress from your life, it is virtually impossible to do…if you have a caring bone in your body for someone other than yourself. I am not saying I disagree with those professionals, they are absolutely correct, we need to remove stress from our lives; but in all honesty, I don’t see how any one human being can justifiably do that.

But the other type of stress, that I have labeled, is Micro stress. And those are the pressures and stresses that we typically induce upon our selves. They are the stresses that may be in our lives one day, but completely gone the next.

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         ---   Taking an exam, you put yourself through complete agony preparing for it, and then one day it’s over and done with. Pass or fail…you’re done.

·       ---Meeting a deadline at work…one minute it’s there and you aren’t sure how you are going to pull it off, you do…and it’s over.

·        --- Getting your child’s project completed on time.

·        ---- Getting to your appointment on time, when you are 20 minutes late as it is, and stuck in traffic.

·      -----   Just finding out that you or a family member is ill, how you are going to tackle the situation, and how everyone will move forward with the news.

So you see, stress comes in all forms. Most of it, yes we do engage in ourselves, but let’s be honest, can you really ever stop worrying about your kids? Your spouse? The health, safety, and well-being of our friends and loved ones? Of course not. The thing we have to remember as human beings, is we have to relinquish control, we can’t control and manage everything in the world.

You will always worry or think about those in your life. We just have to learn balance. Because stress does take a toll on your health, both inside and out. And I always tell people this, but a lot of times I am the worst at hearing and taking my own advice, and therefore I must be reminded on a constant basis…and that is to just breathe.

I am constantly reminding myself of the old adage… “This too shall pass”, we may not like the end results, sometimes those endings are death, failure or loss…but no matter what our cards hold, we just have to keep our heads held high and keep moving forward as the world turns.

Mom of Boys

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Little boys are amazing creatures. Every day I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach, hoping that old cliché isn’t true that when boys grow up they migrate towards the girl’s family; I hope my boys will want to remain close to my heart forever.

The journey with boys is full of lots of laughs, some tears, but most importantly lots and lots of love. Boys are definitely a breed of their own, but worth every minute of the experience.

Things we talk about…

As a mom of all boys, you may or may not understand this, but a boy mom hears everything, literally everything, in a day. From talking about how to ask a girl to a dance, to the next type of gun they want for their birthday, to arguing with mom about not having the right attire to swim in at the pool.

I think my favorite talks are the ones that begin with a reverse question. It takes me a while to figure out what the question is leading up to, but I finally see the light.

My favorite the other day was…”Mom did you ever go to prom?” And I told him I did, I told him I was lucky enough to go 3 times. Then he proceeded to ask how they asked me…and then it all hit me…we are wondering how we are going to ask our future dates to dances.

Things I manage and deal with…

So as a boy mom you go from one extreme to another. You are constantly picking up clothes, toys, trash, food, dirty dishes…and the next second you are dealing with their OCD habits that won’t allow them to leave the house if their toys aren’t lined up correctly or their towel has to be just perfect on the lounge chair at the pool.

Why can’t some of this pickiness occur within the walls of our home? Why does it always look like a bomb went off, then I pick up, and 10 minutes later another bomb has gone off?

Then there are those moments that I am helping them style their hair so they look good and won’t be embarrassed to go out in public; so that need for mom is still there, and hopefully will be for a while.

But within the next moment I turn the corner and find gum all over one of my car seat belts so I am on Google trying to figure out how to get chewing gum out of a vinyl seatbelt.

Special Moments…

My oldest asked me the other day why I work during the summer when he is home from school. And I told him because my job requires me to do so. I don’t have a job like a teacher or counselor where I get a few months off during the year. But I explained to him that I am lucky in the fact that I get to leave my job every day in time to pick him up from school…and as a mom of boys that is the most important time in the world to me.

They don’t always open up to you, but when they do you had better be there to listen. And that is the time of day I have found that he does most of his talking. Sometimes it is a struggle to get information out of pre-teens or teenagers, but persistence is the key. Don’t be annoying, but be persistent. And sure enough the right time and right circumstances will happen that they will open up and let you in for a brief shining moment.

Now the little ones on the other hand, never stop talking. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We talk about great ideas they have, trips they want to take, school supplies they want, or just the fact that they want to go swimming or watch trains at that very moment.  But nonetheless I will never ever cut communication off with my boys, no matter how much they clam up.

I am always on the hunt…

And that is another thing, what is it with boys and their shoes? I feel like I spend half of my lifetime searching the house for their shoes. How hard is it for the male specimen to put their shoes in their closet? They don’t have to be put there neatly, just put them there!

Things They Say….

My middle one has a great heart; even at four years old he know to let his little brother win a race now and again; which he does followed by a “Hip Hip Hooray, you just won the race!”

The oldest one is learning the art of protection, and he has asked me if anyone ever makes fun of his little brothers, is he allowed to hit them? Although the gesture is kind and sweet and protective of his little brothers that worship him, that is still another life lesson that I have to teach him.

And the little one is just full of hugs and kisses and tells me constantly not to go to work, and that he loves me.

So their little brains are always thinking and processing, that is why it is so important to set the right example. I am the first to admit, I screw up daily; but I am trying to see the big picture of my parenting, hoping that I am doing a good job and try not to beat myself up too much for the tiny errors that I make.

Just go with it…things I have endured….

This year has been a trying one on old mom. I know I have been the one taking the hits, literally, but emotionally my boys (all four of them, yes including my husband) have put me through the ringer this year.

Let’s see we ended last year with my middle one have 2 staples in his head from the baby launching a sippy cup at his head. Then four days into the New Year, my oldest snapped is ulna and radius in half, after rough housing on a trampoline. So we made it through that fiasco and then 20 days after getting our cast off, it went right back on again. He again, snapped his ulna and radius. Soon to follow my husband endured kidney stones for the first time; I am pretty sure he felt like he was birthing our 4^th child…then came the drugs and he was happy once again. The following week our youngest was sent via ambulance to Children’s Hospital in Dallas to manage a rare diagnosis of intussusception, which is a rare occurrence in the large and small intestines.

About 10 days to two weeks after that my husband was doing manual labor on our lot where we are building and a tree decided to meet his head; therefore we ended up with 8, yep 8, staples in his head as well.

And then not 7 days after that the middle one got about a second degree burn on his leg from hitting the engine on our lawn mower.

So the moral to our story is…we will NEVER EVER miss eating our black eyed peas again on New Year’s Day.

But the one thing I have learned about being a boy mom, is the power of touch; even though they are rough and tumble, they still need love, hugs and kisses. And the older they get the harder it becomes, but we have a “one hug a day” rule, not to embarrass them, but to let them know we are there for them no matter what…especially the older they become.

Summer Camp…best times EVER!

By: Samantha S. Daviss

As a kid if you ever had the opportunity to go to summer camp, those are probably some of the best memories you ever accumulated, right? They sure were for me. I still talk to about four or five of my cabin mates, I still remember my first “real” kiss was behind the ice maker on Dance Night, and I still remember getting camp favorite…I went to my summer camp for nine summers in a row and loved every single minute of it.

Regardless of which camp you are fortunate enough to attend, it is all about the memories you make, the friends you acquire, and the lessons you learn from camp that stay with you for a lifetime.

My oldest has been going to the same camp I went to as a child for the past four summers now, and I can see in his eyes the same anticipation and excitement I got when my parents pulled my trunk down from the attic and the packing process started. It was pure elation that I got to spend another two weeks in the happiest place on earth to me, with all my best summer pals, making more memories.

Now that I am an adult, I look back on my times as a camper and realize that I learned so much more than how to swim a mile, or ride a horse, or jump on the Blob (a water activity loved by all kids). So here are a few things that I reflect on as a former camper, and what I took away from summer camp:

1.      Your clean underwear in your drawer isn’t a mysterious collaboration, that lady you call mom puts it there daily. You learn to appreciate that after two weeks of turning your undies inside out and backwards just to make it a few more days…without good ol’ mom around.

2.       The dreaded shower scene—you may think I am talking about Psycho, but I am not…I am talking about the first time you step into that group shower unit and realize that your body is light years behind all your cabin mates.

3.       Simple as it is…you make friendships and memories that truly last a lifetime.

4.       Your first crush—really did turn out to be something special. It was your first “real” kiss and that is something that stays with you forever.

5.       Washing your hair after a full day in the lake isn’t a request, it is a requirement; especially when your hair is starting to look like the seaweed at the bottom of the lake.

6.       Being selected by your fellow campers as a campfire lighter or favorite, really is a pubescent confidence enhancer and right of passage.

7.       Dance night is the most terrifying night of any pre-pubescent or pubescent’s life. You stand there wondering “Will I be asked to dance?” “Do I really have to ask her to dance?” “If we do dance do we have to touch and hold hands?” The eternal fear of every child/teenager is revealed for that hour and a half on the well-lit tennis courts.

8.       It is a must to hang your swim suit out to dry after the day’s activities, because after a few weeks at camp the mildew WILL start to grow…but always check for scorpions. A very important life lesson, as a camper.

9.       Every child needs the experience of climbing on a bus or being dropped off by mom and dad, waving good bye, and surviving on your own for at least a week. It teaches independence, confidence, and the ability to say good bye.

10.   And most importantly…as a camper you really learn you who are: Are you a nature lover or a couch potato? Do you co-exist well with other outside your family? Are you flexible and willing to go with the flow or are you more of the leader? And most importantly does this new adventure put a smile on your face every day or do you complain about all the activities and having to rise and shine early?

Summer camp, no matter how long or short of a term it is, is a blessing in so many ways. It teaches you who you are, how to manage your clean and dirty underwear situation, and it also teaches your parents how to let go a little bit too.

My favorite summer camp:
Camp Longhorn