It Comes in All Forms

Love comes in all forms, sizes and shapes. Sometimes those around us don’t know that some of our reactions or actions are how we show our love or admiration for another person, but love really does come in all forms.

For our children love comes in happy, tangible, and sometimes painful forms. Those little creatures that we have created don’t know, nor will they ever know what we do for them, how much we love them, and what we sacrifice for them…until hopefully until the one day they hold a “little creature” of their very own.

To show our love for them we do things that we wouldn’t normally do, or even fathom of doing. We forgive people that may have hurt us in our past, to make our child’s life a little less complicated or stressful. We bite our tongue a lot around our children, so they don’t have to understand or endure the adult complications that we go through on a daily basis for them.

We try not to say too much about a friend choice or a girlfriend or boyfriend selection, until we see it becoming serious. Their happiness is our happiness – but also as a parent, we have the right to step in and offer personal experience or suggestions about their selection of partners, if we can see there is the possibility of their heart getting broken.

As parents, we clean up, we pick up, we wash stains out of clothes that we wouldn’t wash out of for just anyone. We lay in bed with them when they are sick, let them snuggle in our arms, cough on us, or sneeze on us; just so they know that mommy and daddy are there for them no matter what.

Just the other day, our middle one, had been running a pretty high fever for almost four days, and he asked to sleep with mommy and daddy, and of course we said yes. He and his Daddy fell asleep together while I stayed awake until about 2 A.M., finishing up some work; and as I was ready for bed, my little man had managed to spread his wings across his Daddy’s face and my entire side of the bed. Now mind you this is a King Size bed, but none the less this little dude, took up the entire thing.

I was too tired to head upstairs, so I just passed out on the couch. So, it’s those things they will never know, or understand why we do them.

Love for friends comes in all forms too. You can say it, you can show it, or love for friends also comes in your loyalty and honesty. I am an emotional person, and I love to hug and kiss everyone, really. But a lot of my friends aren’t’ that “huggy touchy” so I have learned to show them my love through dedication, loyalty, and continual support through their various ventures and experiences in life.

But a husband and wife can show love and admiration in so many ways. It’s funny, my husband and I couldn’t be more opposite when it comes to romance. I guess it’s the fact that I am a female, and a writer and my imagination is always churning. But I love Rom-Coms, and Disney movies, and overall just a happy ending. My husband always thinks that if it’s not a grand romantic gesture towards me, that I won’t be happy. But that really couldn’t be further from the truth for me. I don’t want flowers, they die; I don’t want a card, they are too expensive; I don’t need candy, my rear end is big enough already.

What I do need is an extra hour of sleep on Saturday; I need the dishwasher to miraculously be emptied; I need my car washed and vacuumed and all the Goldfish and chocolate melted into my floorboard to be cleaned up.

And you know what, he does all of that for me. So, you see what he doesn’t understand is that he already is my Disney Prince Charming, he has rescued me from a life of little sleep, a full dishwasher, and a rolling grocery store, with all the food on my floorboard.

Men aren’t as gushy as woman, and don’t typically need too many grand gestures. But I show my love to him by thanking him for being such a great dad, for working so hard for our family, and for being faithful to me. And when I have time I try to mow the yard, to help cut down on some of his chores, so he can spend more time with us when he is home, and less time working in the yard.

So, you see love comes in all forms. You just have to be open to recognizing them, and not expect them to always be in the traditional form of cards, flowers, and candy…because you know what? Anyone can buy those; but not everyone is will to bring you a cool wash cloth when you are hanging your head over the toilet from the stomach bug, or buy you ducks and geese on Valentine’s Day when they know you’ve been wanting them for a while.

Remember to read between the lines of love, it’s not always black and white, there is a whole lot of gray in there too.

It Seems so Simple

For such a short simple word, you would think its meaning would be an easy action to maintain or handle, right?

Well “To Forgive” is such a very powerful statement and verb of action.

Defined by the dictionary, forgive means:

for·give

fərˈɡiv/

verb

verb: forgive; 3rd person present: forgives; past tense: forgave; gerund or present participle: forgiving; past participle: forgiven

1. stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

"I don't think I'll ever forgive David for the way he treated her"

synonyms:		pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve; More make allowances for, feel no resentment toward, feel no malice toward, harbor no grudge against, bury the hatchet with; let bygones be bygones; informallet off (the hook); formalexculpate "she would not forgive him"
antonyms:	blame, resent

o    stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake).
"they are not going to pat my head and say all is forgiven"

o    cancel (a debt).
"he proposed that their debts should be forgiven"

The exact words are to “stop feeling angry, resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake”. Now I don’t know about you, but that is a pretty big pill to swallow; especially when someone has hurt you, hurt someone you love, or someone you love has been taken away too soon. 

But they tell us to forgive. So that means we have to forgive that drunk driver that killed our entire family. That means we have to forgive the man that used to beat his wife into submission every night, is that what they are saying.

I never understood, when I would watch shows such as Oprah, that a mother was able to forgive that drunk driver. But now, after looking up the word, what it means is you, yourself, must relinquish any anger or ill-feelings, or harbored feelings you have had. In a way, to forgive, is almost working on your side. Now this doesn’t mean you have to excuse them for their actions, or condone what they have done to you in your past or their past. What it is doing, is allowing you to let that burdon be lifted off of your shoulders. It is allowing you to breathe freely again. It is lifting the burdon of anger off of you. Off of your soul, your heart, your being in general.

This recently happened to me personally. I allowed my self to forgive someone from my past. It has been wonderful. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, my heart and my soul. It doesn’t mean I agree with what happened in the past, or even condone it. But it is with a much lighter, and easier heart that I have allowed myself to move on and not hang on to the pain.

It has been a peaceful journey for me. It has allowed me to open my heart and my soul and not expel hatred or anger. 

Just remember, if you have been hurt physically or emotionally, or a member of your family has. Try to find your inner peace. Try to forgive. Again, it doesn’t mean you have to approve or condone their actions that have hurt you or your loved ones, but forgiveness will allow you to move on and accept life as it is in the present state, not the past.

You Really are Enough

When we hold that beautiful baby in our arms, we want their lives to be perfect. We want them to be brilliant, successful, happy, and admittedly so, we all have that glimmer of narcissism, that maybe our baby will be the “one”. The one that will change the world.

Whether it’s through medicine, politics, science, discoveries, the written word; whatever the case may be. We hope that our little bundle of joy, will have an earth-shattering effect on the destiny of our world.

While some of those fat-faced, little cherubs will indeed go on to accomplish great things, their names may go down in the history books; there are those that will just live a normal, productive, happy and healthy life. And most of the time that is all the world really needs.

Because that little bundle will touch, affect, influence, aid, or carry another person through their life, or many people through their lives, and not even having realized what they are doing to benefit those around them.

As a grown woman, who hasn’t changed the world, moved mountains, or done anything of greatness in the world; it is always so nice to hear that you have effected someone’s life in a positive manner. 

This past weekend, I attended a wedding of a friend. After the ceremony the bride’s daughter, and the daughter’s cousin; both who I have known their entire lives came up to me and said the sweetest words, I think I have ever had said to me.

They looked at me and said, “Sam, we aspire to be you one day.” Now seriously, other than hearing the words: “Momma” or “I love you” for the first time out of your baby’s mouth; life doesn’t get much sweeter than that. So, with great confusion, honor, and a little giggling on my part, I asked them why in the world would they aspire to be me?

One said, “Because you are just you. There is nothing fake about you, you are nice, you are funny, and not much gets to you.” The other one stated, “You are always happy to, you always have a smile on your face…You’re just Sam!” And without hesitation, I immediately thanked them, and told them, that was about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I also told them, that life is pretty great. And that I have definitely hit some rough patches, but they were never going to bring me down. And I wanted these two girls to remember that, always.

Now these aren’t young kids; one is 18 and the other is 20. So, they have had the pleasure to meet several people in their lifetimes. But not only for them to approach an adult, but to also have the courage to tell me they had been watching me, and noticing me, and talking about me earlier in the day…was truly amazing to me. Because most young adults don’t have the patience to look around, or outside of their bubble to really pay attention to what is going on around them.

So, you see, some of us are destined for greatness; but then, there are those of us, that accomplish greatness by touching someone’s heart, their soul, or their outlook on life. So, to those two young ladies, I thank you. I thank you for reminding me, that I don’t have to find cures for diseases, I don’t have to launch rockets, I don’t have to figure out World Peace, to be a good person. Sometimes, just being me is enough, and without knowing it, we all will affect those around us in one way or another.

So being you, really is enough.