In the Blink of an Eye

In the Tree House: In the Blink of an Eye

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We’ve all been told to “Live life to its fullest”, “Live each day as if it were your last”… to me those two statements can be a little ambiguous in the fact that, yes, we can absolutely enjoy life and everything we have been blessed with to the maximum. But me personally, if I lived every single moment as if it were my last…I would never get anything accomplished. My ideal last moments are with my family, on a beach, or strolling the back cobble stone streets of small Italian village while enjoying my wine and prosciutto; and not doing laundry, not cleaning my house, and not cleaning our rabbit’s cage out.

I fully concur with the fact that you shouldn’t let the little things bring you down, and things people say or do are completely out of your control, so just let those issues roll off your back; but to actually live your life as if it were your last day seems a little morbid, and a little convoluted.

With that said, your life can change In the Blink of an Eye, for the good or the bad. So you need to enjoy and appreciate every stage you’re in and every adventure you embark upon. The stages of life we are in come and go and change on a daily basis, like the changing winds of the open plains.

For instance say you and your spouse have been trying to conceive your first child for months, maybe even years. When one day you finally gave up hope that you could never become a biological mother to a beautiful little boy or girl; so you have come to accept the fact that you are willing and able to adopt. When suddenly you wake up and learn you are eight weeks pregnant. In the Blink of an Eye you went from the acceptance that you would never physically be able to become a mother, to no longer ever being alone for the next seven months of your life, to realizing that for the remainder of your life every decision, every move, and every choice you make will revolve around this little unexpected creature that you have yet to meet.

Another stage of life that you could be wandering through could be the single life. When suddenly you realize that your best friend (of the opposite sex) you have been hanging out with has moved from the “friend” category in to the “I love them” category. And right then and there your life has changed In the Blink of an Eye. You become conscious of the fact that you want this person to be a part of your life for the rest of your time on earth. That you would do anything for them, give anything for them; even be willing to open your heart so much that you are willing to have it broken, if their feelings for you aren’t mutual. Instantly you go from single, to committed.

We tend to overlook the good occurrences in life that can change us in an instant, and we tend to focus on the more negative happenings in life. I don’t want to say we all live in constant fear, but more on the edge of our seats, sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. Those negative instances that can change our lives In the Blink of an Eye can range anywhere from receiving a phone call that a loved one has been in a car accident, to sitting at your doctor’s desk being told the devastating news that you do in fact have cancer and your treatment starts in a week, to your spouse walking in after 18 years of devoted love and marriage only to tell you they no longer love you and are moving in with someone else.

So with the good comes the bad, and yes it can all change in an instant. So even though we may not be able to live our lives as if they were our last days, lying on the beaches of the Virgin Islands, or hang gliding over the Hawaiian volcanoes; we can learn to focus on what is important in our lives and do what makes us the happiest, regardless of what everyone else is doing, what they feel is right, or what they think about your life choices.

It is your life, live it fully, and live it happily. You only get one shot at it, so live it with your ideal compassions for the perfect life. Color inside the lines, color outside the lines…save your money, spend your money…live in a huge house, live in a tent…it doesn't matter, live it to your standards. Because I promise, one day you will wake up and some event will have occurred while you were sleeping, or while you were awake and everything that you once called normal will be flipped upside down.

Not Just One Hat

In the Tree House: Not Just one Hat    

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Often as a parent, moms in particular, we tend to wear all sorts of different hats; and not just for our kids, but for friends, work colleagues, as daughters, as granddaughters, and as wives…needless to say our hat rack is pretty full.

The role that many women live today requires a multitude of hats to be worn; and they are usually taken on and off numerous times every single day of her life. Typically she will start her day off with the mommy/wife hat, and then progress into the working woman’s hat, while possibly putting the mommy hat back on mid-day to check on her kids or to receive the inevitable “tummy ache” phone call from the school nurse; then immediately throwing the “working gal” hat back on to finish out her day. As soon as that clock strikes to end the work day, she immediately throws her mommy/wife/housekeeper/teacher hat on to possibly run to the grocery store, pick the kids up from school, start dinner, all the while walking everyone through their homework duties, in addition to starting a load of laundry.

Sometimes in the monotony of the standard “every day” hats she has to apply; the inevitable doctor or nurse hat gets worn for a scraped knee, or upset tummy; in addition to the “pet whisperer” hat for the necessary pet feeding and pet living area cleaning that must take place a few times a week.

But for all the hats that must be worn, we, as women, wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Because we know our loved ones need us and want us in their lives.

As a friend, we tend to be their punching bags when they need to vent about work or their spouse and try to talk them through it, while encouraging them that “This too shall pass”. Or we are their sounding boards when something terrible goes wrong in their lives, like a sick child, a hurt child, or the loss of a pet. As a friend wearing many hats we have to remember that we are there for them no matter what, after all they are our extended families.

With colleagues, the hat line tends to become a little more blurry…all of our duties and responsibilities tend to overlap just a bit, but that is just part of the corporate world and working as a team. But still we need to stay focused as work as a unit, because in the end, we are all working towards the same goal. So in a way we have to wear our friendship hat to work as well. There needs to be no animosity or anger, and if there is, then everyone needs to find a way to talk it out, or work it out. A tense work environment doesn’t bode well for cohesion in the work place.

The “grown woman” hat, who is still a daughter and granddaughter, and a mother in her own right…, tends to be the most complex. Because as we all know most of the time our parents and grandparents “capture” us in their minds at certain ages and tend to overlook the fact that we are grown adults, with mortgages, and children of our own that we are rearing. But we are still needed to act appropriately in the daughter/granddaughter role; especially if a parent or grandparent is ailing and needs our care and attention. But with that, needs to come a mutual respect and understanding from our elders, recognizing the fact that we have our own lives to live and dreams we want to fulfill, and vacations and memories we want to explore and build with our own immediate families that we created when we made the decision to get married and start a family of our own.

In conclusion, the most precious hats we are honored to wear on a daily basis are that of mother and wife. That special someone in your life thought you were a fantastic enough person that they wanted to share the rest of their days on this earth with you. Sometimes I look at my husband and wonder… “Why?” Why on earth did he pick me, with all my quirks; why does he want to wake up in bed next to me every morning; why does he want to share his deepest darkest thoughts, dreams and prayers with me? I wonder…but I’ve learned to never look a gift horse in the mouth. I just feel blessed every day that we found one another, each other’s counter parts, to travel down life’s road together, no matter how smooth or bumpy it may be, we are doing it together.

But I must say that the hat that I love wearing the most, with pride and honor, is that of “Mother”. These little creatures that are my responsibility on a daily basis, didn’t ask to be brought into this world…my husband and I made that decision for them. So the fact that I was blessed enough to have three wonderful little boys added to my life and world, makes the “Mommy” hat just about the best accessory I could ever own.

Criticism, it will Haunt You

In the Tree House: Criticism, it will Haunt You

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Reading has been such an important part of my life. As a secondary education student I always felt like my teachers had to force me to read my assigned novels, I remember actually counting pages and trying to figure out how many I needed to read a night to complete the book by the assigned date. Then as I entered college and found my niche and my major, I realized that this reading thing wasn't such a bad gig. In fact I was starting to enjoy it, once I realized the authors and writers I was drawn to the most; like Shakespeare, Poe, Hemingway, and for fun I read Sparks and Grisham, then I started reading more for pleasure.

But now as a busy mom, a working gal, a wife, and just an all around little rat running on the wheel of life; I find myself clinging to any spare minute that I am able to sit down and enjoy a good book these days. Now, I don’t do many things for myself, and I recently partook in a guilty pleasure, that I actually felt guilty for doing. I was at the end of my book, and it was getting so good and juicy, that my husband asked if I wanted to run an errand with he and the kids and I bowed out to finish my book. It felt so bad…but on the other hand it felt so good to finish this incredible book and have a little "me" time. Because I am the type of mother and wife that devours every second I am able to spend with my family, we are very rarely apart...but this time I was just dying to get to the end of this fantastic read.

So anyway, I’m trying to broaden my horizons on my reading repertoire. Even though I don’t get a lot of time to read, I am allowing myself to indulge in one “fun” book, what I call an easy read or one that keeps my attention all the way through; and then in between those I am marking off my classical list of books that I have read in the very distant past or have never read, but want to mark them off my "literary bucket list".

I just recently started reading The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I remember long ago seeing the 1974 film version of the book starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, and it was absolutely divine. I couldn't imagine living such a carefree, decadent lifestyle. So that prompted me to make the novel my "classical read" this time around.

Not two paragraphs into this fabulous novel I came across a quote between Gatsby and his father that just rang out in my ears and mind.

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you've had.”

For some reason this echoed in  my mind; but what caught my attention was that this is so true on so many levels. I realize that Gatsby’s father was speaking literally; but my brain started working metaphorically. Gatsby was raised in a world full of wealth and privilege, and his father was encouraging him not to judge or criticize others' lifestyles, mainly due to the fact that most don’t have the financial means to back up their desired lifestyle, like the Gatsby family did.

The symbolism that my mind conjured up (I felt) was as poignant to our society, as a whole, that sometimes we all need to reconsider our thoughts or our words before we think them, judge another, or speak them. Because once harsh words of judgment or criticism are spoken, they can be like daggers to someone’s heart or ego.

So many thoughts came rushing to my head; for example, what if a man is on a fun weekend away with his buddies and the wife calls on a continuous basis. If the husband is okay with her calls and checking in, then there needs to be no judgment passed upon her. You don’t know what her past was like; she may have been in an abusive or adulteress relationship with another man and her main insecurity is the possible threat of that happening to her again with the man she loves. And you may not understand this, because as Gatsby’s father pointed out, you may have lived a privileged life...but your privileged life is one filled with a faithful, devoted spouse.

Scars come in all forms, not all are visible on the exterior; sometimes the worst scars and wounds aren't skin deep, but cut to someone's emotional core.

Another thought that rose to mind was people not understating the ways other cultures exist. If you haven't been given the opportunity to see the world, or even just outside of your personal community, it is hard to relate to, and understand how other societies, cultures, and religions exist. So with that said, don’t judge someone that criticizes other ways of living, because they may not have been given an opportunity to see and understand other people’s ways of life.

Remember, we all share this world together, and we mustn't be too quick to judge one another. We all make mistakes, but we all live our lives in our own way, so just accept people for their way of living and move on with your own life in the manner in which you dictate.

Interstate Time

In the Tree House: Interstate Time

By: Samantha S. Daviss

As you can imagine three kids, both parents working, sports, school, outside activities, birthday parties, (a minor social life) for the parents, and sleep…doesn’t leave much time for ol’ mom and dad to have any in-depth conversations. Be it about the household, finances, things you each may have said or done that may have hurt the other's feelings, or something you may have said that really made your partner happy.

But I can tell you that a four hour car ride alone together is the best $150 in gasoline you will ever spend to converse with your significant other (without the children in the car, of course). My husband and I, recently, were fortunate enough to escape for a quick weekend getaway with a group of friends; we had to leave in our own car because our departure time was a little bit different than everyone else’s, but that’s okay, it gave us some great quality time together to talk and discuss things, which sadly have needed to be talked about for probably a couple months now.

Our conversations went from playing the “Alphabet” and “Number” game on license plates, to our next family vacation, to building our house, to how the boys are all doing. It was actually really nice to be able to open up and talk about everything we needed to talk about, playing marital catch-up so-to-speak. Being trapped in a car together is probably the best marriage counseling $150 can buy these days. Because I mean really…WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? Are you going to pull a “Bo or Luke Duke” maneuver (from the Dukes of Hazzard) and roll out of the car onto the highway to escape? Probably not! So like it or not, you are stuck with your significant other for a while.

My hubby and I even took the time to go so far as to discuss some minor defects (or frustrations, for lack of a better word) we were having in the communication department with one another, so as to prevent any future disagreements, that everyone has from time to time from not understanding what the other person is needing…but we were able to iron them all out. They were minor; they were just some adjustments we’ve needed to make on how we could communicate a little clearer with one another.

And low and behold we figured out the problem...He’s a man, and I am a woman!! Who knew? Our species (man and woman) just don’t think or communicate in similar fashions, at all. No, but seriously, we were able to strengthen and mend any communication gaps we may have been having.

Now the ride home was a completely different story…we drove down in a rental car due to my husband’s work. But we returned home with some of our good friends that went on the weekend with us. You think riding in a car with your significant other can be entertaining…try riding in a car with your friends. All I can say is I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I won’t name names, but I got to see just how other people drive down the highway, especially when they are stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on I-35.

I thought my vocabulary was colorful, when frustrated…I’m actually really, really boring behind the wheel. While sitting in the backseat with the other wife, we got to listen to our two husbands figure out and decipher not only the ways of the world, but how the world should exist in their eyes…was the most entertainment I have had in years.

First of all, I adore my husband, but he and the other husband, I swear, were cut from the same clothe when they were born. So of course during the course of our car ride they both came to the conclusion that their theories and outlook on life were the correct ones, and everyone else should follow suit to their ways of thinking and existing.

Add to that the trivial talk we listened to from the backseat. One example was when we passed a man in an orange shirt. Granted, I’ll give you the fact that it was a really bright orange shirt…but to listen to these two go on and on about the color of this shirt was mind boggling.

“Wow that is a really orange shirt.”

“Yeah it’s not even burnt orange like the University of Texas; it’s really a bright orange.”

            “I know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an orange that color.”

You get the idea…

So imagine this conversation going on at that pace for at least five minutes. When it was all said and done my girlfriend and I were sitting in the backseat in hysterics listening to the depth that these two went into over a shirt. But yet when we need to discuss finances, or the children, or work we get one word answers…go figure.

I have to say though, traveling with your significant other, family or friends, definitely takes your relationships to a whole new level…a level of intimacy that you would never see on a daily operational level. Sometimes you literally just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Always Smiling

In the Tree House: Always Smiling

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We all have really bad days, sometimes it’s due to life occurrences, sometimes it’s hormones, and I tend to blame the moon a lot. But for the most part, I tend to be a pretty happy, jovial person; at least I try to be.

However, there are those people in life that just make you smile and feel all warm inside when you are merely in their presence. As they enter the room you can feel the entire space fill with happiness, gratitude for life, and just the mere thought of breathing in and out that day.

Their attitude oozes joy and contentment. My family and I went out to dinner the other night and we were greeted by such an individual. This person is always saying hello, hugging you, and complimenting the person he is engaged with in conversation. When in fact he should be the one being complimented, for his iconic status in Corsicana, his lifetime dedication to his career, and his devotion to his beautiful wife he lost not too long ago. Their friendship and marriage was one we can all only hope to emulate one day. You never feel like a stranger when you are around this person, and there is no social division or separation when you are around him. He always welcomes every person the same…with open arms.*

They say that it takes twice as many facial muscles to frown as it does to smile; so why don’t we all practice that theory a little bit more each and every day, I wonder? After all a smile is contagious, and it’s something I’d like to catch each and every day…and if you think about it, it truly is contagious. When you see another person laughing, or smiling, doesn’t it always make you a little happier, and remind you that smiling and laughing truly is the best medicine?

To quote one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite actresses (that also represents my smiling theory), from one of my favorite movies…

           

“Smile, it increases your face value!”

This line was presented so eloquently with her “molasses thick” southern drawl…the incomparable Ms. Dolly Parton, from the movie “Steel Magnolias”.

She is another well thought-of happy person. I realize everyone can be a different person behind closed doors, but to just watch her on the big screen or during television interviews…she is the kind of gal I would love to go have a mint julep with on my front porch and just laugh and giggle until my face hurt. She always seems to find the positive in everything she does in life, or every flaw she may have…she manages to turn it into something encouraging for herself and the world to learn from each and every day. And if you can’t learn from it, then learn to laugh at it…if you can’t laugh at yourself, then what can you laugh at, right?

I think when we surround ourselves by certain personalities we all tend to become “chameleons” to that personality or environment. If we are around negativity we tend to pick up on that, but if we surround ourselves with only positive thoughts, words and actions I think the world and society as a whole would be a lot happier.

From my life experiences, travel, and just day to day operations, I have noticed that all of these gadgets, technology, and “smart” thingies are not helping us, but aggravating us. It seems that since our world has complicated itself with speed and convenience, we tend to have less patience for the things we want out of life.

Sometimes it is nice to remove all those complex devices and just resort back to the “old fashioned” way of living life…simplified. And that is what I have discovered with truly happy people, that haven’t succumbed to the “new age” way of existing, they are just living life the way they have always lived life…simply, happily, and day to day with a huge smile on their face.

Every day you get out of bed be grateful you are able to do so…and clap your hands and say “World I’m ready…let’s do this” instead of “Awe man, I really don’t want to get up today”. There is always someone or something that is happy you are here another day, so make the most out of everything you are given, and learn to turn your frown upside down. I promise ... it’s contagious.

I recently took a mother/daughter trip with my mom up north, and it was fantastic. We went to Chicago, and I had never been to such a friendly place, especially in the North. You expect people to be friendly and reverently chatty in the South, but not the North. So again, their enjoyment for life, their beautiful city, and just what they have been given was absolutely contagious. Happiness comes in all different shapes, forms, and varieties…it can be a smile, a nod of acknowledgement, a quick hello, or a meaningless conversation with a total stranger.

Try it sometime; you’ll be amazed at how receptive people can be in the world. Sometimes they just need to be brought out of their shell, and (as I call it) back into the three dimensional world.

*I try hard not to focus on one individual for my columns, but the person I spoke of in this column is a true bastion of Corsicana and has been for decades, so I thought Mr. Johnny Crawford deserved the accolades he deserves for his positive attitude and huge smile he offers the people of the world every single day. Love you Johnny!!

The Hardest Job You'll Never Know

In the Tree House: The Hardest Job You’ll Never Know

By: Samantha S. Daviss

As a mother you never know what is right around the next corner. It is like a tornado sneaking in across the plains of Oklahoma. All is calm in your life and then in an instant it is turned upside down. As a mother, I have endured some unexpected life occurrences in the past 12 days. Some have been good and some not so good; but I can say “Thank You” to the good Lord above, that none of them were so severe that they couldn’t be repaired.

As a mother of three boys I feel that we should have (not to coin a phrase from Disney World), but a FastPass to the emergency room. My baby, who just turned two, was casually walking across the parking lot, tripped and ended up with a rock in his forehead; and after much discussion between my husband and I; him not thinking it was too severe, and myself knowing the size of rock that came out of his head…ended up in the E.R. resulting in two stitches.

Shortly thereafter, out oldest ended up in the dental chair for over four hours, having his two front teeth reshaped, rebuilt, and molded to emulate his beautiful former, and might I add…permanent teeth. He knocked out about 75% of his two front teeth after losing a wrestling match to a bean bag chair and two buddies, and of course our tile floor. But as I mentioned, thank goodness, both of these mishaps were completely mendable.

However, the next episode in our lives recently has been the fact that my boys are all growing up…this is something that this mommy doesn’t take lightly or deem plausible at times.  But our middle son is now old enough to play t-ball, and he is absolutely loving it. He is really aggressive and competitive, and will run clear across the field to grab the ball to tag someone out. It is humorous to me to see just how different your children can be. My oldest has always loved sports and wanted to be involved, but he was the kid standing in the outfield picking up daisies and making shapes with them; but our middle child will plow through the field to tag his opponent out without any concern that he took out five teammates along the way. So I wait with anxiousness to see what my third boy will bring to the “show”.

But when you make that decision to become a mother, you never realize that it will be the hardest job you never knew. You aren’t told that you will never again be able to relax again for even a  second in your life in concern for their whereabouts, their safety or their well being. You will never again be able to walk into a movie theater and enjoy two hours of complete silence and relaxation; because you wont allow yourself to completely shut your phone off. As a mother there is not a second goes by that you aren’t on call.

There isn’t a turn of your car key that doesn’t send chills up your spine, whether you are in your car alone or your car is filled with all your babies; for fear that you might or might not return home safely and able to resume life is as it should be, and always has been. All of these little factors that you once took for granted are now major life altering decisions that could change the fate of your life and that of your family’s forever.

We shouldn’t live in fear for the rest of our lives for the “what if” factor, but becoming a mother makes you more aware of your life and the world around you.

There are so many outlying facets that affect your world after you hold that bundle of joy in your arms and watch them grow up; issues that you wouldn’t even think about before you gain the title of mother. Like when you look down at your stomach and see your skin shining in the light from the glorious stretch marks or c-section scar; you don’t view them as a form of depreciation to your body, but as badges of honor and a testament to what you sacrificed for that little person.

Or the fact that your relationship with your husband will never be the same again, you will gain strength where you never thought possible, and the things that were once important are absolutely meaningless now. He will now do things for you or your baby that you would never have thought romantic nine months earlier, but now you see them as the most genuine selfless acts you’ve ever seen one human being do for another…like take the trash out without being asked.

The honor of parenthood and motherhood changes your world in so many ways. You learn to calm yourself in the midst of a crisis to ease the fear and uncertainty your little one is having to endure; when on the inside you are absolutely screaming and sobbing inside hoping that all will be right again in their little world. You learn to hear words you might not want to acknowledge or admit to coming from your teenager’s mouth, but the importance of maintaining that bridge of communication is the most important bond you will ever battle to maintain; and the ability to accept your child for their strengths, weaknesses and errors and love them unconditionally.

As a mother you learn turn a blind eye to things you would never be able to ignore in your previous life. So to all the daughters, mothers and mothers-to-be…you must remember your life will never be the same. Your heart will be exposed for the rest of your life, but you must remain the rock in their lives and comfort them when they need comforting, but you must learn to give them wings and fly when they are ready to see the world for themselves. That release will be the most painful thing you will have to do as a mother, aside from an unspeakable tragedy which I hope no mother has to endure, but they must see the world and life through their eyes, not yours. Their way may be different than how you would do it, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way.

Remember to love your child in their entirety, not just their attributes, because in the end they make you a better, stronger person.

What Matters Most

In the Tree House: What Matters Most            

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Sadly in the recent past there have been several tragedies that have hit close to home, and some not so (logistically) close to home…but it’s made me recount to myself, my family and those around me just how grateful I am every single day they are in my life.

National tragedies that have affected our nation have been the Boston Marathon bombing, the explosion in West, Texas, and most recently the horrific tornadoes that swept through Moore, Oklahoma.

But a little closer to home, a mother and father grieve for the sudden and tragic loss of their baby boy. I can’t even imagine the pain that any of these people are going through; nor will I ever say that I understand what they are feeling. Until you have witnessed the pain first hand, you haven’t earned the battered and broken badge to allow you to express just how painful it is.

All we can do as a community and society is be there for those who have suffered through these excruciating losses. And from all of this heartache we must learn what is truly important in life.

When we are gone people won’t remember us for the house we lived in, the car we drove, the jewelry we wore, or the clothes on our back…but they will remember us for how much we loved, how much we appreciated, and how much we showed those around us what they truly meant to us each and every day we were on this planet.

We are thrown curve balls in life every single day, that we must make sense of; some are more demanding and catastrophic than others, but nonetheless we must figure out how to navigate through life with what we are handed.

That is why it is so very important to enjoy every minute you are together; and to never take for granted that you will see their smiling face at the end of the day; because sadly, the truth of the matter is, you just might not see that dimpled filled face ever again. Just like I have said, never go to bed angry; well, never part ways angry. Always tell the people in your life what they mean to you, because you never know when it could be your last good bye, your last hug, your last smile that you will ever see on that sweet face. Make the time to slow down and realize what is the most important factors of your life. Don’t be in such a rush that you miss out on all the good stuff.

To take a theme from an oldie but goody movie, City Slickers (with Billy Crystal)…there is that one thing in life that means the most to all of us. It is different for every one, but there is that one thing in our lives that is our reason for being; but it is up to you to figure it out.

You never know what tomorrow holds; you must always learn from your past; but most importantly treasure the present, for it is a gift bestowed upon us all.

As I squeezed my boys a little tighter, and tucked them in bed with a few more kisses, and grabbed some extra hugs these past few days, I felt a pain in my gut; some of it a pain of guilt that I was able to do that, and these other families were not; but then I realized these people wouldn’t want me to feel guilt they would want me to treasure the fact that I can do just that…love my boys in the hear and now. However, admittedly so, a lot of my pain was for their grief that they could no longer do what I am able to do; and with that I send my love, prayers and support to all those affected by all of these horrific tragedies both near and far.

To you, I take my hat off and acknowledge your strength, bravery and courage for waking up each morning and trying to make sense of it all. But know that your families, friends, and community are there at every waking moment you need them.