Third Times a Charm

 

By: Samantha S. Daviss

 

It’s official…we get the “Household of the Year” award. I can officially Tweet about myself #momofthreeboys; #ER-veteran; #areyoukiddingme?

 

I am lobbying for Emergency Room Fast Passes (not to coin a phrase used by the Disney Corporation). But we have officially now taken all three boys to the Emergency Room for stitches and/or staples. Since birthing my three angels, I go into the ER, almost like a guilty suspect in a bank robbery would walk out of the bank with their hands above their head. But instead I walk in saying what a great mom I am, and that our house is safe, and that CPS doesn’t need to come pay us a visit, it is just a house filled with three boys. I say it with a smile, so they don’t think I am some lunatic damaging my children, or neglecting them.

I am thinking that maybe they need to have our files on hand, just to the right of their computers…knowing the Daviss boys will be paying a visit at some point in time that month. I have been so often that I feel like I deserve a punch card, so on my 10th visit I should get something free, like a cup of coffee, a roll of bubble wrap to wrap my children in, or a free add-on to our house that is a padded room so they can all play and not damage each other.

This however, was the first sibling inflicted wound. The other two cases have been pretty much self- inflicted. The baby fell about a year ago, just walking across the parking lot and a small pebble lodged in his forehead, which required stitches. And the oldest was about eight when his incident happened. He was talking horseback riding lessons, the horse spooked, and off he went clipping his little face on horse’s hoof creating a need for stiches in his chin.

This past Friday night was a little chaotic in my household. I had just returned home to my mom babysitting my boys, because I was at one of my best friend’s grandmother’s visitations, who had sadly passed earlier in the week.

My oldest had come home from school that day with a 102 temperature, so he was snuggled in bed with soup, ibuprofen, and sleeping soundly; and the little ones were just playing joyfully with grandma. Then about 10 minutes after being home my oldest woke up needing me, and the babies were playing in my room. I was away from them for maybe three minutes to take the oldest one’s temperature. When all of the sudden a scream echoed through the house. It was loud, but a normal scream from someone hitting someone else, or stealing someone’s truck. I did immediately go survey the situation…when the middle one said “He threw his sippy cup at my head Mommy.” I thought, okay this has happened before. So I put the laundry down, walked over to give him a quick “Mommy makes it all better kiss”. But as I approached him, his entire left shirt shoulder was covered in blood.

Of course my husband was out of town for work, so I called the parentals back, to now watch the oldest and youngest, and off I went to the ER with bloody head and grandpa in tow this time.

 

As we pulled up to the ER, I knew the routine…fill out the paperwork, get a wrist band for myself and the baby, wait for triage, and head on back. Once in the back, the doctors were great and my little man was a trooper. He took it like a champ. The nurse had to ask him if he felt safe at home, and his response was very clear… “Yes, but sometimes my brothers take my toys from me.” So you see it’s all relative.

Like I always say, I don’t know what I would do if I had a girl…but when I was pregnant with my third, one of my girlfriend’s just knew it was another boy…and she cordially welcomed me to the “Mom of Three Boys Club”…I wasn’t sure why she said it with a smirk on her face…but now I know why.

The joys of motherhood is definitely a ride, but the thrill is being a mom of all boys. All I can do is hang on tight, and pray for the safety every single day. Even though they are rough and tumble, their hearts are filled with a devotion and admiration for their mommy, like no other.

 

Why do Girls Cost More?

 

By: Samantha S. Daviss

 

When my husband and I first started dating, he was deep into bachelorhood. But I guess my whit, charm, and dazzling personality wooed him enough to help him see the error of his ways, and that dating, marriage, children, and family were more his speed; and the single life was his former life.

But during his single life, he was forced to only care for himself, shop for himself, and clean for himself. He never realized the expense girls must incur. Sure he shopped for former girlfriends, and he knows that girls just shop more…period. But now that he is in the throes of wedded bliss, he is starting to realize that being a girl just simply costs more than being a boy.  I’ve always realized this issue, but this has really become a point of contention with my husband, ever since he really had to start paying attention to my clothes, and the expenses I was incurring.

Now I’m not talking about our “frivolous girlie needs” like manicures, pedicures, or massages. Although, our men may complain about the cost of those luxuries, they wouldn’t have anything less than a quaffed beauty on their arm. No I am talking about comparing apples to apples, everything that a man needs a woman needs.

For example, I understand that a woman getting her hair styled and colored should cost a lot more than a man’s haircut; no, what I am talking about is a simple trim. My husband can get his hair cut from anywhere between $16 and $25. But when I want just to trim my hair, I am not talking styling, or layering, or anything tricky, I am simply needing a trim to cut off the dead ends…why is my hair cut typically three times more expensive than his haircut?

An even better comparison is a white button down shirt; clean, simple, and neat. We all need one, for one reason or another, be it for work, for casual wear, whatever your style is, I personally think a white button down is a staple needed in anyone’s closet. But a woman’s button down, on the average, runs at least double to four times more expensive than a man’s button down. And in so doing this comparison, I am cross referencing within the same store. I am not comparing some elite boutique to an average chain store. I am truly comparing apples to apples. So why is this, I ask you?

Is it because the women do most of the shopping, so the retailers know that we will pay more, because we are trapped? I wish there was something we could all do about it. I wish we could take a stand. But I know, that shopping, hunting, and scavenging for that “awesome deal” is in our DNA as woman. But think about it, what if…what if there was a world of equality, in the retail industry.

We do the same jobs as men, yet we are still paid less, even in the year 2013; but yet, we need the same clothes, and luxuries that men need and want, and we are charged double, if not more. Funny, I am definitely no math major, but that really doesn’t add up, now does it? We are paid less, but have to spend more to clothe ourselves. Kind of makes you go “Hmmmmm?”

Only place we get a price cut is on “Ladies’ Night” at the bar…but that’s not much of a deal, because we have weird, annoying men bothering us all night, in the same button down shirt that we are wearing, but he paid half of what we paid for ours. So darn right we should get free drinks.

I know we can never stop shopping, but wouldn’t it be nice to be able to pay the same prices men pay for the items in their closet? Can you imagine the damage we could do then, ladies?

But seriously, it’s an unusual concept, and you have to admit that it is. But I have always sat idly by my entire life and paid the prices that are required of me as a woman; but humorously, this issue irritates my husband more than it does me.

Just something to think about.

 

Boys are Completely Different Creatures

 

By: Samantha S. Daviss

 

It’s funny, I get asked all the time if I wished I had a little girl mixed into to my brood of testosterone that is literally slung against the walls of our house on a daily basis. And my simple response is always, the truth, “I don’t think I would know what to do with a little girl”.

We recently went on a trip for the Thanksgiving holiday, and as I was walking through the airport I saw the cutest little girl carrying her baby doll under her arm; but then I turned to my right and saw my two youngest boys with their noses plastered against the big glass windows just drooling over all the airplanes taking off and taxing around right before their big eyes, and it warmed my heart to know that even though they are rough and tumble (on a daily basis) I wouldn’t trade my three little men for the world.

We were lucky enough to spend the holiday in the mountains enjoying the first layer of snow and the crisp mountain air; but my boys’ idea of fun is having snowball fights (even in the middle of the resort village), and going on adventure hikes that follow the flow of the chilly creek that snakes through, around, and out of the resort village; and of course all three of my boys were willing and able to try ice skating on the pond that isn’t completely frozen edge to edge, just yet.

Not to worry, the professionals had the “safe zone” marked off for skating, but there is always that chance that a part of the ice may not be as secure as old mom would like it to be. But nonetheless, all three of them got out there and gave it a try. The three year old immediately ran in the building and asked for a pair of “skaters” (a.k.a. skates), and the two year old instantly took to the ice in his snow boots, running from one end of the ice to another; while the eleven year old practiced his baseball slides on the ice and snow, only to soak every fiber of his jeans and sweatshirt to the core.

But that folks is life with boys. There is never a dull moment; in fact, after we returned home from our adventure…we had a great day out in the gorgeous Texas autumn weather playing at the park all day and taking our dogs to swim in the frigid, frigid lake waters of Richland Chambers. And that was just a Sunday afternoon with our family.

However, like I said, there is never a dull moment in our household. Because a typical school night consists of our eleven year old trying to focus on his homework, while I’m finishing up a load of laundry and cooking dinner. But in a recent evening, the two little ones managed to sneak out into the garage (that is closed and secure of course) and bring their scooter and big wheel bike into the house. I was curious where this activity was headed, so I quietly stood back to observe their little brains in action.

And who knew, they created the one most dangerous game they could have come up with. Our house has about three small steps down into a den, and what did they do? But of course, they rode their scooter and bike down the steps over and over again.

Under my close observation I stood there and watched them and just laughed hysterically, because they were laughing that incredible infectious laugh that all babies and toddlers have when they can just fill a room with happiness.

And then not 30 seconds later our oldest comes flying down the stairs armed with toy guns and crossbows, hitting the ground with an abrupt military role as if he were seeking out the enemy.

I sat there in amazement that their little minds can not only conjure up this activities, that may in fact do some serious bodily harm, but more to the fact that they have no regards to the fact that they could tumble head over heels down the stairs, or even impale themselves on one of their toys.

But with that said, I thank God every night that I go to bed for giving me the three most wonderful, energetic boys with the best imaginations a mother could ask for; all the while praying for their safety on a daily basis.

It’s a mother of boys’ prayer, it is simple, and short, and God knows exactly what you are asking of him.

“Please watch over my boys, and keep them safe in your arms.

You know it’s funny, I really don’t know if I would know what to do with a little girl. I think God knows exactly what he is doing. I was in a store today with one of my boys, and a lady asked if he was my only; and the store owner (who knows me well), chuckled and said “Nope, that’s one of three boys” and she nodded in my direction, “and look she’s still smiling” the store owner finished. And all I could say is “I have a lot of under eye concealer for all my dark circles”. And it’s the truth, I don’t sleep much, I don’t get to put my feet up much, and I certainly don’t get to wear an outfit more than once before cleaning it; but God knew what he was doing.

 

Whose Side are You On?

In the Tree House: Whose Side are you on?

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Well the family gathering plans have begun, the turkey has been hand selected at the grocery store and placed in the deep freeze for safe keeping, the fine china has been dusted off, the silver polished, and the liquor cabinet re-stocked (to increase tolerance for all the family coming to town).

With excitement in the air about Thanksgiving, long-lost family members reuniting, and the traditional side dishes already decided upon, and split evenly amongst the family members to prepare and bring to the table…there is that one side dish that stands alone. This is the one dish that no one really enjoys eating or for that matter preparing; but it is an obligation, and a required fixture on the Thanksgiving table. The one that your mother’s mother created generations ago, and if it is not presented on the table for all to observe (and more than likely avoid), your grandmother’s uterus may as well be pulled from her gut and stomped on the floor, may God rest her soul.

In my family that one abhorrent dish is my grandmother’s cranberry salad. As a child I was forced to eat it, and I always thought everyone around me enjoyed it; because I would look around our dining room table and my entire family and guests were devouring this salad. For the longest time I thought “maybe there is something wrong with me, something wrong with my taste buds”…but as I’ve grown older, created my own family, and started my own traditions…I’ve realized that everyone ate my grandmother’s salad out of pure trepidation.

They would rather choke down that salad, than tell her the truth, and reap the repercussions of her wrath. So now I’m realizing that my taste buds weren’t that far off the radar. At first bite you taste the Jell-o that encased the finely chopped cranberries, in addition to the dreadful flavoring of all the various citrus rinds that are mixed in the creation. But the presentation of this formation was always so lovely, making you doubt yourself as to why year after year this particular combination brought back such horrid memories.

It is gingerly placed on the salad plate from your fine china collection, atop a freshly washed, freshly peeled leaf of Iceberg lettuce. Therefore, sitting there all alone, being avoided by every patron at the table, you begin to feel sorry for this creation…and then you take a bite. And all those long past holidays spent together with the pinching of the cheeks from Auntie Sally, and the yelling over the roar of the football game, and the excitement of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, come flooding back into your memory bank; but nonetheless it does not enhance the feeling you get when you bite into this wiggly repulsive combination of flavors.

And you take another bite, only to make your mother happy that the tradition of grandma’s cranberry salad lives on. Viva la Cranberry!

Sadly though, the existence of this salad will continue to live on in my family and on our Thanksgiving Day table as a sign of respect for my grandmother, my mother, and the generations to come that must suffer through the same nauseating combination of cranberries, citrus rinds and gelatin that is the one symbol that represents the presence of those gone before us, and dining with us at our annual Thanksgiving feast.

A House is more than Just Four Walls

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Well another chapter has closed in my family’s life. We are moving on and starting the next chapter, literally. We sold our house recently, and albeit that we are all very excited about the new house we are going to be building; I am having a very hard internal struggle leaving our current home.

Now in my former life I would have had no problem packing up and moving again, because we moved seven times in a 10 year time span. So it almost became routine to me to have our house unpacked in about a week, and packed back up for another move across the country. I never felt settled, so I never became attached to a house.

But this house, that we are currently in, has been a different story. It has actually been a character in my life’s movie. I realize to most people a house is just brick, mortar, plumbing, and a place to lay their heads; but this house to me is so very much more.

It is the refuge my son and I moved into together after our lives were flipped upside down one hot day in August of 2006. Then about two years after that the man that walked into our lives, and made us realize that it’s okay to smile again, moved into our little house after he made us a safe and happy family again. The three of us were like three little peas in a pod, or as we liked to call ourselves “The Three Musketeers”.

About 18 months after our family became one, we had an addition bless our family…our middle son. So our little house got a huge makeover. We added on a library area, new utility and master suite. But with that growth came some great memories. I have memories of our oldest climbing down in the trenches before the new foundation was poured. I even shed tears when they had to cut down some trees in our backyard to make room for our expanding home. But just the joy and elation that came with our two boys getting to decorate their new rooms and the satisfaction of knowing we were all safe and protected in the walls of this once little house that held two very scared and insecure people, was now the protective haven to our vastly growing family.

Thank goodness we increased the size of that little house, because not but fifteen months later our third little addition blessed the walls of our home. Our family was complete. And the memories began flooding our home and seeping into the walls. From Christmas celebrations, to birthday parties, to dealing with the loss of a very vital family member, to all the happiness and laughter one family could share. Our babies learned to walk and talk in that house; and our oldest came of age. We have watched him grow from a shy four year old little boy to the wonderful young man he is becoming day by day.

So you see this house to me is more than just walls, nails, and concrete; it is my sanctuary. It is actually the house I have lived the longest in my entire life, including my childhood. To most this may sound corny, but in a way I feel like this house rescued me, and taught me that it is okay to smile again, to love again, and most of all to trust again. This house has definitely seen me through my worst times, and my absolute best times. So with it I take an enormous amount of memories, smiles, a few tears, and a bushel of laughs.

You ask why we are leaving. It is because we know right around the corner we have a million more memories to create for our ever expanding and growing family full of boys. Because one day these boys I hold, rock, and caudle will be strapping young men that will come home to our new home and help create more memories for me to relish in. But one thing is for certain, this house may no longer be a part of our daily life, but it will forever be etched in our memories.

It’s Your Right, nay Your Duty

By: Samantha S. Daviss

There are so many things we all take for granted in this world; we don’t mean to, it’s just a part of life and the luxury of living in a first world country. Things like when we need to fill our glass with water, we walk over to the faucet, turn the handle and voila we have water. Or the fact that we can walk out into our garage, turn a key and our car starts, and then we reach above our head and push a little button to open our garage door, and it opens. So you see, we had three things right at our finger tips without even batting an eye…running water, fuel in a working car, and electricity.

This grand country of ours has been through a lot, and we have all managed to pull together and become a fighting entity. That is why the rest of the world envies us so much. From a civil war, to two World Wars, to Korea, to Vietnam, and now the Middle East; we are a country that fights in what we believe in, what we stand for, and our freedom.

And our freedom is probably the principal asset in all our lives as Americans that we take for granted the most. One gift that we have forgotten what all the fighting and wars were and are all about; and that is our freedom to vote, to speak our minds, to work at any job we want, and to travel to any state or country we want. Our freedoms were not received lightly, in fact many lives were lost, families destroyed, and children orphaned for the sacrifices that the great men and women of our military that have given so fervently to us.

So as a form of respect to those that have in fact laid down their lives for us, we need to remember why they have done so. And that is to give us, and our future children the lives we deserve…the lives to live in a democracy, to voice our opinions, to stand up for what we believe in as a society. Obviously we aren’t all going to agree, or see eye to eye on subject matters, but that is the beauty of being an American. We don’t all have to agree, we don’t have to have the same view point as our neighbors, we just all have to stand up for what we believe in and voice our opinion and to get along as a society.

And to voice our opinion, we need to vote! Voting doesn’t always have to be about our next president, or congressman…it can be about things we don’t even realize are happening on a daily basis at the city, county, or even state levels in government. Voting doesn’t have to be about the pomp and circumstance with the issues we hear about on the daily news at the federal level…voting issues can be happening right here under your nose at the city level.

Like right now, our little town has a proposition on the voting ballot to completely renovate, repair, and restore our historic courthouse. Our courthouse is 108 years old, and you can only imagine the stories that could be told if those walls could talk. And that is exactly what our community is trying to do, is save a little piece of history, charm, and aesthetics by bringing the courthouse back to its former glory, without increasing our tax rates one penny. That to me is worth a trip down to the voting polls to save a little piece of history, and restore the building that is filled with grandeur, beauty and stories.

Living in the county seat is a pretty advantageous opportunity from the socio-economic standpoint. If you think about it, it gives more job opportunities, it incorporates a jail, which offers more employment opportunities, and it is the epicenter of our great county.

So take advantage of your rights as an American, and go vote. It isn’t painful, it’s actually a whole lot of fun to know what is going on in your community, and knowing you did your part in helping your community thrive and grow.

Fancier Cars and a Tighter Tooshy will make you happier!

In the Tree House: Fancier Cars and a Tight Tooshy…will make you happy!

By: Samantha S. Daviss

I read the most amazing blog recently in the Huffington Post. It talked about having flatter abs and a better sex life will make you a happier more self-fulfilled person, in a cynical manner. We all subscribe to the mindset of “If I only looked like that person on the cover of the magazine, then I would be so happy; and my life would be just as I want it to be.”

Take it from someone who has been rail thin (I fondly joke of it as being the “Oh so faithful divorce diet”) and when I was rail thin, I didn’t even realize it or appreciate it at that time. Granted I was a little distracted by other goings on in my life, like where my child and I were going to live, where I was going to work…you know, the minor things like that. But my point is when you look a certain way, or drive a certain car, or live in a certain house…your life dreams and aspirations aren’t fulfilled. And deep down you know it to be true.

Right now I am working extremely hard to shed the pounds after having two babies back to back, and much later in life than I had my first child. But you know what? I appreciate every effort I make and all the lumps and bumps I obtain. Because those lumps and bumps meant that I found happiness again after my divorce, my life went on, and I got re-married to the most wonderful man in the world; in addition to creating a healthy, safe environment for my oldest child and myself, not to mention adding two high spirited and joyful little “curtain climbers” to our brood.

Looking at all those magazines and watching $100K+ cars whiz down the highway, in my mind doesn’t equal self-fulfillment; in fact it is just the opposite, it is self-deprecating, to myself, not the owner of the car. Envy can be an ugly green monster that rears its head every so often.

My thoughts are, if you are able to read this column then your life has reached its all time peak. You are either able to afford payment to have the paper delivered to your home, you are able to afford that cup of coffee you’re enjoying in the coffee house you are sitting in as you read this, or if you are online then you are able to not only afford internet service but electricity as well.

A few tips on how to enjoy your flabbier self and domestically built automobile that gets you and your family from Point A to Point B safely, all the while you are able to afford the gasoline in it:

1)      Stop chasing the idea of “I’ll be happy when…” Give up the ghost man! And realize that all your happiness is right in front of you. You’re alive, aren’t you? Then it’s time to start enjoying what you have been given, instead of pouting over what you don’t have. Stop trying to “Keep up with the Joneses!” Who in the hell are the Joneses anyway? Some family that lives on Martha’s Vineyard? Escapes from the chaotic lifestyle of the city on the weekends, only to enjoy a few fleeting moments of peace and serenity in a beach house that they get to stay in a total of 36 hours every other weekend, because they are too busy working and missing out on what is really important in life? Who cares who the Joneses are…

2)      Understand that the world revolves around the sun, not you…Our problems and stresses seem so large to us sometimes, but in reality they are so infinitesimally small that we are all just one small piece to an amazing puzzle.

3)      It’s OK to say I’m sorry…Rudeness will get you no where. You don’t have to apologize in a self-deprecating manner, as if you are apologizing for the pure existence of yourself. But if you bump into someone, or change plans last minute, or just change your mind…think about how it might affect the feelings of the other person standing in the room with you. It’s not all about you!! Say I’m sorry. It really isn’t that painful…let’s try it: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you standing there, are you OK?”; or “I’m sorry I changed my mind, I really don’t want to do that any more, I hope that doesn’t upset you.” See there, that didn’t hurt a bit.

4)      Be Kind…Ellen DeGenres signs off every show with “Be kind to one another”. And every time I hear her say that I just want to jump up on my couch and scream “Amen”. Is everyone just that wrapped up in their own lives or just that completely oblivious to their surroundings that we have forgotten how to be kind to one another? Being nice is FREE…and there aren’t too many free things worth any value left in this world.

We are creatures of habit, for the most part we will always want what we can’t have, but if you think about it, you already have most every thing people want. The ability to read, which means you’re educated; the ability to process this column and decide whether or not you agree, which means you are a strong independent person that is able to make up your own mind; the ability to drive to the coffee shop and read this column, which means you can pay for gas, pay for food, and you are a healthy human being that has all your limbs that allow you to pick up the paper or your iPad to read this column.

Now to me, all this is way more important that a super fast car or a tight little tooshy.

Dinner at the Table

In the Tree House: Dinner at the Table

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Sometimes I feel like a broken record talking about how busy we all are, running from one activity to another. And I realize that sometimes practices run late, or are smack in the middle of your usual dinner time. Sometimes those scheduling conflicts just can’t be avoided, but what can be avoided is living completely separate lives under one roof.

We all jump out of bed in the morning, racing to school or to work, with a few “Good Morning” kisses, and another as we race out the door. Then after school it’s piano lessons, gymnastics, tumbling, golf, baseball, cheer; whatever your activities are, your family is in a constant tailspin trying to get to your next point of interest. Then it’s time for homework, tests, reading; all the stuff that goes along with making good grades so you are able to do all those sports and activities.

Next it’s time for showers and off to bed. But wait! Something is missing. Oh, that’s right, family conversations and interaction so we all know how our days went, how work is, how school is. Did anything exciting happen? What kind of grades did you pull on that test? Are you talking to a new girl in school?

We all have to eat, so why not take that time to spend a little quiet time together sitting around the dinner table, talking, catching up, and learning about anything new in your family’s lives. Think of it this way…with the TV off, and everyone around the breakfast room table, they are a captive audience. They can’t go anywhere, so they have to sit and face the music and communicate.

I’m not saying we are able to do it every single night of the week because of schedules, or weekend activities. But we try to sit down together at least four out of the seven nights in a week. We don’t allow cell phones, or iPads, or iPods, or i-anything at the table. When we are there, we are there as a family.

It’s not just a time for us to sit and talk and catch up on the day’s activities or points of interest. It is also a learning time as well. Every night I have our oldest set the table, and everyone is responsible for clearing the table. And we teach them not to put their elbows on the table, how to properly use a knife and fork, and what side their glass should go on. But mainly it is teaching them how to sit through an entire meal without having to get up, go watch TV or go play on some electronic device. It is teaching our children how to slow down, have good table manners, and understand that life is what is happening in front of them, not on that tiny computer screen.

Today’s society is in such a rush that people have forgotten how to set the table properly, where the fork and knife and spoon goes. Where the bread plate goes, and your glass(es). I know it may sound simple and elementary, but if you are ever in a restaurant, look around at how many people actually know how to use their utensils properly, or where to put their glass. Sitting around the table and enjoying good conversation, is a dying art.

But more importantly sitting around the table as a family for dinner keeps you connected and a permanent fixture in their world. So they know that at dinner time they can come to you and talk about a problem they are having, or they know (whether they like it or not) “Big Brother” will ask them all the questions of the day. As a way to stay connected and in their lives, to avoid problems, issues, or possible concerns that may pop up in their lives.

Whether they tell you or not, kids need and want you in their lives and in their business. Growing up is an extremely complicated and scary process, and the more you know the more they know. You are their safety net. Regardless of how much they say they want you gone and out of their business, it is actually just the opposite, pre-teen and teenage years are a scary and uncharted time in young kids’ lives.

Get in there, annoy them, know everything about them…I promise you in the end they WILL thank you for it. And they will be better people because of it.

So you see, just a simple conversation at dinner time breaks down all those barriers. It will be the best 30 minutes you ever spent. The meal doesn’t have to be fancy, and if you aren’t a cook, don’t worry about; grab something on your way home from work. But carve that “table time” out and really talk to your kids, listen to them, and have them listen to you. You’ll be glad you did.

Having Fun with your Best Friend

In the Tree House: Having Fun with Your Best Friend

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Most of us marry our spouses because we are attracted to particular attributes they may (or may not) obtain. There were several attributes that attracted me to my husband, like his calming disposition, his sense of humor, his ability to calm me down when needed, and the fact that he accepts me for whom I am. But the main attribute that attracted me to my husband was the fact that he is with out a doubt my very best friend in this entire world.

He is the first person I think of when I have some exciting news to share, he is the first person I want to vent to when I want to rip someone’s head off, and he is the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning. We have a lot in common on a personal level like hobbies, activities we enjoy doing together, and the fact that we just make each other laugh all of the time.

As you can imagine with three boys, two working parents, children’s extracurricular, family activities, school work, and everything else life throws your way…we as a couple have very little time to “date” anymore. But if I’ve said it once, I will say it 1,000 more times…you have to keep dating as a couple. That connection that once brought you together must remain a priority in your lives. Because one day when the house is empty, the laundry is put away, and the grass is mowed, because you have nothing else to do together, you don’t want to look at one another and say “Really? What on earth was I thinking?”

You have to keep that spark alive, and remember that the relationship you have and maintain with you significant other is the most important relationship you will ever endure. I’m not saying marriage is a cake walk; just like any relationship…business, personal, or otherwise, they all require time, effort and attention. And your marriage is no exception.

Time out of the house together at parties, or gatherings is always fun; it allows you time to socialize and see your friends and catch up with everyone that you haven’t seen in a while. But that is not “dating”. Dating your significant other is just like what it sounds…going out on a date, alone, and doing something you both enjoy doing. But the catch is you have to make time for this so-called dating. There should be no excuses, as to why you can or cannot do it.

With that said, my husband and I got to go on a much over-due; much needed date the other night. We did the typical movie date night, since we average about one movie a year together. But we both loved the movie, and then we decided to go for drinks together at a nearby watering hole. It was fantastic; we actually sat for almost three hours just talking. We were able to talk about the typical household issues that we’ve needed to discuss for about two months, uninterrupted by little voices needing juice or cookies. And then we talked about dreams and plans we had for ourselves and how we were going to try and tackle our aspirations. So just a fun night out with my best friend, able to catch up on things that have, unfortunately, been brushed under the living room rug, for lack of a better term, because of our hectic lives.

But the best part of our evening was after we left the restaurant, we headed to Wal-Mart, because my husband wanted to buy an ice cream maker. Well that adventure took a turn for the worse I guess you could say…because we ended up having a hula hooping contest in the middle of Wal-Mart at 12:30 at night.

So you see, even though you are an “old married couple” as long as you married your best friend you can still have fun together. You just have to remember why you were attracted to one another in the first place and keep that first and foremost in your memory bank, and the rest will just fall in to place.

Marriage doesn’t have to mean complacency, or boredom, or monotony. You can still be those youngsters that used to joke with each other and tease each other, while still being responsible adults and parents. Maturity doesn’t have to mean boring; it can just mean that you have your life together, while still enjoying it. 

Kids Say the Darndest Things

In the Tree House: Kids say the Darndest Things

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Motherhood is the most rewarding job, without a tangible paycheck, that you will ever carry out; some days are like a dream, and then there are those days that you just want to run and hide under a rock. Either from pure exhaustion, frustration, or just the need to be alone; and spend a couple hours without screaming, crying, arguments, poopy diapers, or piles of laundry waiting for you.

If you make the decision to become a mother, and then are blessed with the ability to be a mother regardless of how you became a mother…biologically, adoption, surrogacy…it doesn’t matter; motherhood is an honor, and a cult that we all must realize is a job and responsibility that we will have for the rest of our lives.

No matter how old they grow we will never stop loving them, no matter how tall they get we will never stop worrying about them, and no matter how powerful they become in the world, we can still take them over our knee at a moment’s notice.

Regardless of how many hours we put in changing diapers, or washing clothes, or driving from one activity to another; or the sleepless nights rocking them because of a 104 degree fever or a broken heart inflicted by that girl (or boy) at school…we wouldn’t have it any other way. Motherhood is a privilege, but it’s also a hindrance to any selfless independence you will ever have again. The love you feel for that little person, or persons, is undying. It is a love like no other, a devotion and allegiance you would die for in an instant without a moment’s hesitation.

But no matter how jovial your day is with your kids or how trying it has been; the things that come out of their mouths make your heart warm even more and the passion you have for your job as their mom, is even more fulfilling.

I have a few personal things my kids have recently said, that made my heart sing and my gut twist all in the same day…some offering humor and some offering exasperation; but that’s kids.

1)      My two younger boys helped me decorate a jar with Disney stickers, because they want to put their extra change in there to help save for our family trip to Disney World. And when Daddy got home from work, our middle son was so excited about his jar and saving for our trip, he showed the jar to his Daddy, and told him… “Daddy, we are saving our money for Disney World, you can come with us too if you want.”  I absolutely love their innocence.

2)      Our oldest son recently had a fantastic weekend with friends. It went from a spend the night and a high school football game with one buddy, to another spend the night the next day and two days tubing on the lake. Just getting to be a kid and hang out with all his friends without a care in the world. The next morning we got up and were headed out the door to school, when he turned to me and said “Hey Mom, are we going to get to do anything fun this week?” Sometimes I feel like a duck in the water…Good ol’ Mom is calm and cool on the surface, but underneath my feet are going crazy to try to entertain and make everyone happy.

3)      And the baby, who has learned that Mommy and Daddy only allow him to have his pacifier when it is bed time or “Night Night Time”. So even if he has just been awake for 20 minutes he says “Passy, I go night night”…Their mental capabilities to negotiate and “work the system” at such young ages amazes me sometimes. Even though I have had three of them, their abilities never cease to amaze me.

4)      And then there is the perception possessed by them all…if mom is having a bad day, which really isn’t too often, I guess that’s why they are all so receptive to it, is because I’m typically pretty upbeat. But all my boys know when Mom’s having a bad day. The oldest always asks if I’m okay and offers an immediate hug, my middle guy always lays his head in my lap and says “Mommy, why are you sad?”, and the little guy knows just when to climb up into to Mommy’s lap and just sit there with a smile on his face.

So you see, regardless of the lack of sleep, the imminent late nights of homework or bad dreams keeping someone awake all night…in addition to all the tickle sessions, the blanket forts, and late night talks of them confessing any problems or new crushes at school; motherhood is the most arduously rewarding job you will ever know. But regardless of the time spent together it’s their personalities and the things they say that keep it all in perspective.

To be B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

In the Tree House: To be B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

By: Samantha S. Daviss

I read the most amazing quote the other day, I wish I could cite the author, but there was none.


“To be beautiful means to be yourself. 
You don’t need to be accepted by others, 
you just need to accept yourself.”

So I turned the word “Beautiful” into an acronym that I hope you are all able to apply to your lives and help you live a happier, less weighted life.

B—Be true to yourself, don’t let anyone’s thoughts or notions of you influence the way you live your life;

E—Evaluate each situation before you enter into it;

A—Ask yourself “Am I happy?” with your life choices, if not make it so that you are happy;

U—Understand that every person is different, and their viewpoint has value too…you’re way isn’t
        always the right way, but never doubt yourself or your thoughts…stand true to your beliefs;

T—Trust in your friends, but mainly trust in yourself…have confidence in who you are;

I—Influence is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of openness to new ways of approaching life;

F—Fun…always, always find the fun in what you are doing;

U—Ultimatums don’t always have to be negative, they can just be a means to an end;

L—Love yourself, love you neighbor, but most of all love life…you only get one shot at it.

Accepting yourself for who you are, no matter if others accept you is a very difficult concept to most. Especially if you are a “pleaser”; but you must remember there may not be any rhyme your reason for acceptance of others or the lack there of; so you just have to live your life the way you best see fit for yourself, those closest to you, and those that you love the most, for who you are.

If you surround yourself with the kind of people that you want to be, and you want your children to be then you have conquered the battle of acceptance, because in the end that means you have accepted yourself just as you are.

Sometimes there are people in the world that have a pre-conceived notion of who they think you are before you're given the opportunity to get to know them, or they to know you. But the way I look at those people, is it is their loss for not at least giving you the chance to prove to them who you truly are (or for whom you aren’t; whichever way they have made you out to be in their heads). Suppose they have heard rumors about you, or for that matter, spread rumors about you that they know not to be true or false.

We all must give each other one chance meeting to try and get to know one another. I am not saying we are all going to be friends, or friendly for that matter; we were all made so differently and come from so many different backgrounds that it would be impossible for everyone in the world to accept one another.

But with that said, as individuals, we need to understand that we were all created individually; so accept that. Accept who you are, your individuality, your persona, and your ideas as assets not as detriments.

20 Things I Wish My Younger Self Knew...

In the Tree House: Twenty things I wish my younger self knew

By: Samantha S. Daviss

I am hoping I am only about half way through my life, if not a little bit shy of half way. I want to live a long full life, and be around to see my boys grow old, and to meet my grandbabies. I know at my age, I seem so young to many; but so old to others. But to be honest, I love where I am in life. I am old enough to be taken seriously and not looked at as a kid any more, but not so old that when I talk and spout out my ideas, people think I am losing my mind.

We all say that if “We knew then, what we know now…life would be so much easier.” I couldn’t agree more with that statement. There is so much pettiness that drives teenage girls crazy, and bullying that can ruin a young boy’s life; or just the pressure to be the best athlete, the best student, the best EVERYTHING.

We need to learn to love and accept ourselves for who we are; not what others think of us. So I came up with a partially serious, partially funny list of things I wish my younger self had known; and if I had done these things as a young adult, my life would still have turned out pretty well.

       1)     Don’t be so hard on yourself;
              2)    Love yourself for who you are, not who you think others should love;
       3)   Find your guilty pleasure, and make it your own. Don’t worry what others think about it, because                  remember it’s YOUR guilty pleasure;
       4)   Indulge yourself. Find your Achilles Heel, and act upon it. You don’t have to do it often, but indulge…it          makes life so much more fun;
       5)   Love hard, love true, and love deeply….regardless of the outcome. Your heart may get broken…but            true love is worth the pain;
       6)   If you’re heart gets broken, you won’t die…I promise. Just don’t put walls up, learn to love again…              your true love is truly out there;
       7)    Smell your baby’s head every chance you get. The younger me would have thought this was nuts, but it          is the best smell in the entire world;
       8)       Skinny dip somewhere at least once in your life;
       9)       Have a little wine with your whine time…always make time for your friends and get stuff off your chest;
      10)     Challenge yourself;
      11)     Pack a bag and just take off for a quick weekend away, at least once in your life…without planning it,           without an itinerary, just on a whim;
            12)   Remember who your younger self once was, don’t lose sight of your dreams;
      13)   Stay strong, stay healthy, stay flexible, and start eating right in your 20's…because your family needs               you to be healthy. Start good habits young;
          14)   Buy good bras, good shoes, and good underwear…the rest is just cosmetic;
      15)  Watch the sun set and the sunrise, preferably in the same cycle…while having a great conversation with         someone you care about;
      16)   Have a pet…that unconditional love everyday you come home is priceless;
      17)  Do what you want with your life, not what you think society expects of you;
      18)   Learn to change a tire, change your oil, and to shoot a gun;
      19)  Volunteer (anywhere), but in particular…at a hospital, children’s cancer ward, a VA hospital, or a food        kitchen…you’ll be so appreciative of the gift you’ve been given…a wonderful, healthy life;
            20) Don’t spread a rumor about someone unless you are a good enough friend to pick up the                  phone and ask them if it’s the truth.

You may agree, or completely disagree with any or all of the things I wrote on my list, but if you disagree; take the time to think about what you would have told your younger self if you had been given the opportunity to give a little guidance to that acne-covered, skinny, insecure blob of a teenager we all once were.

Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

In the Tree House: Break Out of your Comfort Zone

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Sometimes “comfortable” can be a good thing. We are comfortable in our homes, we are comfortable with a particular group of friends, we are comfortable with our favorite flavor of coffee. But sometimes “comfortable” can be detrimental to us. Sometimes too comfortable can make us complacent in our lives, our relationships, and how we treat others.

So do one thing this week or even this month to really make yourself step outside your comfort zone; go beyond your daily ritual. Change something, stop doing a bad habit, or start doing a good habit.

For example, in creating a good habit, if you are one of those people that go through life on a daily basis and rarely call and check on your friends, just because…do it! People always like to know they are being thought of, and cared about, even if from a distance. It only takes a minute to pick up the phone and say “Hi, how are you?” Or better yet, change your weekly routine up enough to ask a friend to meet you for a cup of coffee. That couldn’t take more than an hour, right? What’s it going to mess up? Another run to Wal-Mart or Target? Or, put you behind an hour on a load of laundry? Big deal, it will all be there for you in an hour, or I bet you could even manage to catch up the next day. So what if the laundry isn’t done…your family isn’t going to ban you from the house.

We all need to stay in touch with those that mean the most to us in our lives, and take a little time out of life for you in the process. Because if we don’t, what in the world are we doing? Certainly not enjoying the one life we have been given.

Stop a bad habit. I just did and I feel more liberated than I have in years. I closed my FaceBook account and it felt great. It was becoming such a bad habit that I would wake up in the morning and roll over to check it. I never posted anything, and honestly I never really cared what anyone else was doing. It became more of a time-filler for me. Actually, more of a “time waster”. It’s not that I don’t care what others are doing, but it is their life, they need to live it, and I need to not be concerned. Because truthfully, I am living my life the way I want, and I barely have time to keep up with my activities, responsibilities, and family’s goings on…so why in the world would I have time to keep up with over 500 other peoples lives? I mean really think about it…do you really have time for all that…nope! I have three kids, two jobs, a house to keep, four pets, and a husband…just writing it out makes me exhausted…I barely have time for myself, let alone to worry about what someone is doing in my hometown, down the street, or across the globe. So I broke a bad habit, and it feels great. Think of all the time we waste on social media, and now think about how we can focus that time on ourselves, our families, or the dirty dishes in the sink.

I’m not saying my way is the right way, I am just saying step out of your “comfort zone” for a while. They say it takes seven days to create a habit, and 30 days to break a habit. Give it a shot…stop doing something for 30 days, a bad habit, and you know what they are…and see if you are missing it at the end of 30 days.

If you really want to step out of your comfort zone for a while…do something crazy, do something completely spontaneous. Book a trip and go! Get a hotel room for a night, just because and have a family fun camp out. Try something you’ve never tried, like water skiing. If you’ve never strapped a pair of skis on your feet and glided across the water, do it. It is one of the most liberating and exhilarating experiences. Are you going to fall? Of course you are…but what’s living without a few stumbles along the way. Don’t worry about what people think…do something that will make you go “Weeeee!”

Life’s way too short to live in monotony! Start crossing things off your bucket list today, and start living in the now. Not in the future, definitely not in the past…and rearrange your life so those bad habits stop controlling the here and now!

In the Blink of an Eye

In the Tree House: In the Blink of an Eye

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We’ve all been told to “Live life to its fullest”, “Live each day as if it were your last”… to me those two statements can be a little ambiguous in the fact that, yes, we can absolutely enjoy life and everything we have been blessed with to the maximum. But me personally, if I lived every single moment as if it were my last…I would never get anything accomplished. My ideal last moments are with my family, on a beach, or strolling the back cobble stone streets of small Italian village while enjoying my wine and prosciutto; and not doing laundry, not cleaning my house, and not cleaning our rabbit’s cage out.

I fully concur with the fact that you shouldn’t let the little things bring you down, and things people say or do are completely out of your control, so just let those issues roll off your back; but to actually live your life as if it were your last day seems a little morbid, and a little convoluted.

With that said, your life can change In the Blink of an Eye, for the good or the bad. So you need to enjoy and appreciate every stage you’re in and every adventure you embark upon. The stages of life we are in come and go and change on a daily basis, like the changing winds of the open plains.

For instance say you and your spouse have been trying to conceive your first child for months, maybe even years. When one day you finally gave up hope that you could never become a biological mother to a beautiful little boy or girl; so you have come to accept the fact that you are willing and able to adopt. When suddenly you wake up and learn you are eight weeks pregnant. In the Blink of an Eye you went from the acceptance that you would never physically be able to become a mother, to no longer ever being alone for the next seven months of your life, to realizing that for the remainder of your life every decision, every move, and every choice you make will revolve around this little unexpected creature that you have yet to meet.

Another stage of life that you could be wandering through could be the single life. When suddenly you realize that your best friend (of the opposite sex) you have been hanging out with has moved from the “friend” category in to the “I love them” category. And right then and there your life has changed In the Blink of an Eye. You become conscious of the fact that you want this person to be a part of your life for the rest of your time on earth. That you would do anything for them, give anything for them; even be willing to open your heart so much that you are willing to have it broken, if their feelings for you aren’t mutual. Instantly you go from single, to committed.

We tend to overlook the good occurrences in life that can change us in an instant, and we tend to focus on the more negative happenings in life. I don’t want to say we all live in constant fear, but more on the edge of our seats, sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. Those negative instances that can change our lives In the Blink of an Eye can range anywhere from receiving a phone call that a loved one has been in a car accident, to sitting at your doctor’s desk being told the devastating news that you do in fact have cancer and your treatment starts in a week, to your spouse walking in after 18 years of devoted love and marriage only to tell you they no longer love you and are moving in with someone else.

So with the good comes the bad, and yes it can all change in an instant. So even though we may not be able to live our lives as if they were our last days, lying on the beaches of the Virgin Islands, or hang gliding over the Hawaiian volcanoes; we can learn to focus on what is important in our lives and do what makes us the happiest, regardless of what everyone else is doing, what they feel is right, or what they think about your life choices.

It is your life, live it fully, and live it happily. You only get one shot at it, so live it with your ideal compassions for the perfect life. Color inside the lines, color outside the lines…save your money, spend your money…live in a huge house, live in a tent…it doesn't matter, live it to your standards. Because I promise, one day you will wake up and some event will have occurred while you were sleeping, or while you were awake and everything that you once called normal will be flipped upside down.

Not Just One Hat

In the Tree House: Not Just one Hat    

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Often as a parent, moms in particular, we tend to wear all sorts of different hats; and not just for our kids, but for friends, work colleagues, as daughters, as granddaughters, and as wives…needless to say our hat rack is pretty full.

The role that many women live today requires a multitude of hats to be worn; and they are usually taken on and off numerous times every single day of her life. Typically she will start her day off with the mommy/wife hat, and then progress into the working woman’s hat, while possibly putting the mommy hat back on mid-day to check on her kids or to receive the inevitable “tummy ache” phone call from the school nurse; then immediately throwing the “working gal” hat back on to finish out her day. As soon as that clock strikes to end the work day, she immediately throws her mommy/wife/housekeeper/teacher hat on to possibly run to the grocery store, pick the kids up from school, start dinner, all the while walking everyone through their homework duties, in addition to starting a load of laundry.

Sometimes in the monotony of the standard “every day” hats she has to apply; the inevitable doctor or nurse hat gets worn for a scraped knee, or upset tummy; in addition to the “pet whisperer” hat for the necessary pet feeding and pet living area cleaning that must take place a few times a week.

But for all the hats that must be worn, we, as women, wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Because we know our loved ones need us and want us in their lives.

As a friend, we tend to be their punching bags when they need to vent about work or their spouse and try to talk them through it, while encouraging them that “This too shall pass”. Or we are their sounding boards when something terrible goes wrong in their lives, like a sick child, a hurt child, or the loss of a pet. As a friend wearing many hats we have to remember that we are there for them no matter what, after all they are our extended families.

With colleagues, the hat line tends to become a little more blurry…all of our duties and responsibilities tend to overlap just a bit, but that is just part of the corporate world and working as a team. But still we need to stay focused as work as a unit, because in the end, we are all working towards the same goal. So in a way we have to wear our friendship hat to work as well. There needs to be no animosity or anger, and if there is, then everyone needs to find a way to talk it out, or work it out. A tense work environment doesn’t bode well for cohesion in the work place.

The “grown woman” hat, who is still a daughter and granddaughter, and a mother in her own right…, tends to be the most complex. Because as we all know most of the time our parents and grandparents “capture” us in their minds at certain ages and tend to overlook the fact that we are grown adults, with mortgages, and children of our own that we are rearing. But we are still needed to act appropriately in the daughter/granddaughter role; especially if a parent or grandparent is ailing and needs our care and attention. But with that, needs to come a mutual respect and understanding from our elders, recognizing the fact that we have our own lives to live and dreams we want to fulfill, and vacations and memories we want to explore and build with our own immediate families that we created when we made the decision to get married and start a family of our own.

In conclusion, the most precious hats we are honored to wear on a daily basis are that of mother and wife. That special someone in your life thought you were a fantastic enough person that they wanted to share the rest of their days on this earth with you. Sometimes I look at my husband and wonder… “Why?” Why on earth did he pick me, with all my quirks; why does he want to wake up in bed next to me every morning; why does he want to share his deepest darkest thoughts, dreams and prayers with me? I wonder…but I’ve learned to never look a gift horse in the mouth. I just feel blessed every day that we found one another, each other’s counter parts, to travel down life’s road together, no matter how smooth or bumpy it may be, we are doing it together.

But I must say that the hat that I love wearing the most, with pride and honor, is that of “Mother”. These little creatures that are my responsibility on a daily basis, didn’t ask to be brought into this world…my husband and I made that decision for them. So the fact that I was blessed enough to have three wonderful little boys added to my life and world, makes the “Mommy” hat just about the best accessory I could ever own.

Criticism, it will Haunt You

In the Tree House: Criticism, it will Haunt You

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Reading has been such an important part of my life. As a secondary education student I always felt like my teachers had to force me to read my assigned novels, I remember actually counting pages and trying to figure out how many I needed to read a night to complete the book by the assigned date. Then as I entered college and found my niche and my major, I realized that this reading thing wasn't such a bad gig. In fact I was starting to enjoy it, once I realized the authors and writers I was drawn to the most; like Shakespeare, Poe, Hemingway, and for fun I read Sparks and Grisham, then I started reading more for pleasure.

But now as a busy mom, a working gal, a wife, and just an all around little rat running on the wheel of life; I find myself clinging to any spare minute that I am able to sit down and enjoy a good book these days. Now, I don’t do many things for myself, and I recently partook in a guilty pleasure, that I actually felt guilty for doing. I was at the end of my book, and it was getting so good and juicy, that my husband asked if I wanted to run an errand with he and the kids and I bowed out to finish my book. It felt so bad…but on the other hand it felt so good to finish this incredible book and have a little "me" time. Because I am the type of mother and wife that devours every second I am able to spend with my family, we are very rarely apart...but this time I was just dying to get to the end of this fantastic read.

So anyway, I’m trying to broaden my horizons on my reading repertoire. Even though I don’t get a lot of time to read, I am allowing myself to indulge in one “fun” book, what I call an easy read or one that keeps my attention all the way through; and then in between those I am marking off my classical list of books that I have read in the very distant past or have never read, but want to mark them off my "literary bucket list".

I just recently started reading The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I remember long ago seeing the 1974 film version of the book starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, and it was absolutely divine. I couldn't imagine living such a carefree, decadent lifestyle. So that prompted me to make the novel my "classical read" this time around.

Not two paragraphs into this fabulous novel I came across a quote between Gatsby and his father that just rang out in my ears and mind.

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you've had.”

For some reason this echoed in  my mind; but what caught my attention was that this is so true on so many levels. I realize that Gatsby’s father was speaking literally; but my brain started working metaphorically. Gatsby was raised in a world full of wealth and privilege, and his father was encouraging him not to judge or criticize others' lifestyles, mainly due to the fact that most don’t have the financial means to back up their desired lifestyle, like the Gatsby family did.

The symbolism that my mind conjured up (I felt) was as poignant to our society, as a whole, that sometimes we all need to reconsider our thoughts or our words before we think them, judge another, or speak them. Because once harsh words of judgment or criticism are spoken, they can be like daggers to someone’s heart or ego.

So many thoughts came rushing to my head; for example, what if a man is on a fun weekend away with his buddies and the wife calls on a continuous basis. If the husband is okay with her calls and checking in, then there needs to be no judgment passed upon her. You don’t know what her past was like; she may have been in an abusive or adulteress relationship with another man and her main insecurity is the possible threat of that happening to her again with the man she loves. And you may not understand this, because as Gatsby’s father pointed out, you may have lived a privileged life...but your privileged life is one filled with a faithful, devoted spouse.

Scars come in all forms, not all are visible on the exterior; sometimes the worst scars and wounds aren't skin deep, but cut to someone's emotional core.

Another thought that rose to mind was people not understating the ways other cultures exist. If you haven't been given the opportunity to see the world, or even just outside of your personal community, it is hard to relate to, and understand how other societies, cultures, and religions exist. So with that said, don’t judge someone that criticizes other ways of living, because they may not have been given an opportunity to see and understand other people’s ways of life.

Remember, we all share this world together, and we mustn't be too quick to judge one another. We all make mistakes, but we all live our lives in our own way, so just accept people for their way of living and move on with your own life in the manner in which you dictate.

Interstate Time

In the Tree House: Interstate Time

By: Samantha S. Daviss

As you can imagine three kids, both parents working, sports, school, outside activities, birthday parties, (a minor social life) for the parents, and sleep…doesn’t leave much time for ol’ mom and dad to have any in-depth conversations. Be it about the household, finances, things you each may have said or done that may have hurt the other's feelings, or something you may have said that really made your partner happy.

But I can tell you that a four hour car ride alone together is the best $150 in gasoline you will ever spend to converse with your significant other (without the children in the car, of course). My husband and I, recently, were fortunate enough to escape for a quick weekend getaway with a group of friends; we had to leave in our own car because our departure time was a little bit different than everyone else’s, but that’s okay, it gave us some great quality time together to talk and discuss things, which sadly have needed to be talked about for probably a couple months now.

Our conversations went from playing the “Alphabet” and “Number” game on license plates, to our next family vacation, to building our house, to how the boys are all doing. It was actually really nice to be able to open up and talk about everything we needed to talk about, playing marital catch-up so-to-speak. Being trapped in a car together is probably the best marriage counseling $150 can buy these days. Because I mean really…WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? Are you going to pull a “Bo or Luke Duke” maneuver (from the Dukes of Hazzard) and roll out of the car onto the highway to escape? Probably not! So like it or not, you are stuck with your significant other for a while.

My hubby and I even took the time to go so far as to discuss some minor defects (or frustrations, for lack of a better word) we were having in the communication department with one another, so as to prevent any future disagreements, that everyone has from time to time from not understanding what the other person is needing…but we were able to iron them all out. They were minor; they were just some adjustments we’ve needed to make on how we could communicate a little clearer with one another.

And low and behold we figured out the problem...He’s a man, and I am a woman!! Who knew? Our species (man and woman) just don’t think or communicate in similar fashions, at all. No, but seriously, we were able to strengthen and mend any communication gaps we may have been having.

Now the ride home was a completely different story…we drove down in a rental car due to my husband’s work. But we returned home with some of our good friends that went on the weekend with us. You think riding in a car with your significant other can be entertaining…try riding in a car with your friends. All I can say is I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I won’t name names, but I got to see just how other people drive down the highway, especially when they are stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on I-35.

I thought my vocabulary was colorful, when frustrated…I’m actually really, really boring behind the wheel. While sitting in the backseat with the other wife, we got to listen to our two husbands figure out and decipher not only the ways of the world, but how the world should exist in their eyes…was the most entertainment I have had in years.

First of all, I adore my husband, but he and the other husband, I swear, were cut from the same clothe when they were born. So of course during the course of our car ride they both came to the conclusion that their theories and outlook on life were the correct ones, and everyone else should follow suit to their ways of thinking and existing.

Add to that the trivial talk we listened to from the backseat. One example was when we passed a man in an orange shirt. Granted, I’ll give you the fact that it was a really bright orange shirt…but to listen to these two go on and on about the color of this shirt was mind boggling.

“Wow that is a really orange shirt.”

“Yeah it’s not even burnt orange like the University of Texas; it’s really a bright orange.”

            “I know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an orange that color.”

You get the idea…

So imagine this conversation going on at that pace for at least five minutes. When it was all said and done my girlfriend and I were sitting in the backseat in hysterics listening to the depth that these two went into over a shirt. But yet when we need to discuss finances, or the children, or work we get one word answers…go figure.

I have to say though, traveling with your significant other, family or friends, definitely takes your relationships to a whole new level…a level of intimacy that you would never see on a daily operational level. Sometimes you literally just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Always Smiling

In the Tree House: Always Smiling

By: Samantha S. Daviss

We all have really bad days, sometimes it’s due to life occurrences, sometimes it’s hormones, and I tend to blame the moon a lot. But for the most part, I tend to be a pretty happy, jovial person; at least I try to be.

However, there are those people in life that just make you smile and feel all warm inside when you are merely in their presence. As they enter the room you can feel the entire space fill with happiness, gratitude for life, and just the mere thought of breathing in and out that day.

Their attitude oozes joy and contentment. My family and I went out to dinner the other night and we were greeted by such an individual. This person is always saying hello, hugging you, and complimenting the person he is engaged with in conversation. When in fact he should be the one being complimented, for his iconic status in Corsicana, his lifetime dedication to his career, and his devotion to his beautiful wife he lost not too long ago. Their friendship and marriage was one we can all only hope to emulate one day. You never feel like a stranger when you are around this person, and there is no social division or separation when you are around him. He always welcomes every person the same…with open arms.*

They say that it takes twice as many facial muscles to frown as it does to smile; so why don’t we all practice that theory a little bit more each and every day, I wonder? After all a smile is contagious, and it’s something I’d like to catch each and every day…and if you think about it, it truly is contagious. When you see another person laughing, or smiling, doesn’t it always make you a little happier, and remind you that smiling and laughing truly is the best medicine?

To quote one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite actresses (that also represents my smiling theory), from one of my favorite movies…

           

“Smile, it increases your face value!”

This line was presented so eloquently with her “molasses thick” southern drawl…the incomparable Ms. Dolly Parton, from the movie “Steel Magnolias”.

She is another well thought-of happy person. I realize everyone can be a different person behind closed doors, but to just watch her on the big screen or during television interviews…she is the kind of gal I would love to go have a mint julep with on my front porch and just laugh and giggle until my face hurt. She always seems to find the positive in everything she does in life, or every flaw she may have…she manages to turn it into something encouraging for herself and the world to learn from each and every day. And if you can’t learn from it, then learn to laugh at it…if you can’t laugh at yourself, then what can you laugh at, right?

I think when we surround ourselves by certain personalities we all tend to become “chameleons” to that personality or environment. If we are around negativity we tend to pick up on that, but if we surround ourselves with only positive thoughts, words and actions I think the world and society as a whole would be a lot happier.

From my life experiences, travel, and just day to day operations, I have noticed that all of these gadgets, technology, and “smart” thingies are not helping us, but aggravating us. It seems that since our world has complicated itself with speed and convenience, we tend to have less patience for the things we want out of life.

Sometimes it is nice to remove all those complex devices and just resort back to the “old fashioned” way of living life…simplified. And that is what I have discovered with truly happy people, that haven’t succumbed to the “new age” way of existing, they are just living life the way they have always lived life…simply, happily, and day to day with a huge smile on their face.

Every day you get out of bed be grateful you are able to do so…and clap your hands and say “World I’m ready…let’s do this” instead of “Awe man, I really don’t want to get up today”. There is always someone or something that is happy you are here another day, so make the most out of everything you are given, and learn to turn your frown upside down. I promise ... it’s contagious.

I recently took a mother/daughter trip with my mom up north, and it was fantastic. We went to Chicago, and I had never been to such a friendly place, especially in the North. You expect people to be friendly and reverently chatty in the South, but not the North. So again, their enjoyment for life, their beautiful city, and just what they have been given was absolutely contagious. Happiness comes in all different shapes, forms, and varieties…it can be a smile, a nod of acknowledgement, a quick hello, or a meaningless conversation with a total stranger.

Try it sometime; you’ll be amazed at how receptive people can be in the world. Sometimes they just need to be brought out of their shell, and (as I call it) back into the three dimensional world.

*I try hard not to focus on one individual for my columns, but the person I spoke of in this column is a true bastion of Corsicana and has been for decades, so I thought Mr. Johnny Crawford deserved the accolades he deserves for his positive attitude and huge smile he offers the people of the world every single day. Love you Johnny!!