Don’t become boring

By: Samantha S Daviss

I had the best conversation with a guy friend of mine in the doctor’s office this morning. And I learned that he actually likes to be with his wife, just like my husband likes to be with me (well most of the time).

I think it is so important that you marry your best friend, and when you do so, treat them as such. 

This friend of mine I was talking to travels for a living as well. And he said I can’t wait to get home. I hang out with my wife all weekend long. We are always doing stuff together; we very rarely do anything separately. And that just really struck a chord with me…because my marriage is the same way. We love to hang out, to be together, with or without the kiddos, it’s mainly with them, but nonetheless, we are pretty much always together.

We love being a couple, hanging out and holding hands. So this raises the question from me to all you husbands out there, that actually like to be with your wives, have you become boring, or do you still keep the spice, intrigue and excitement in your relationship and marriage?

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to keep it alive:

1)      What’s the most romantic thing you have ever done for her? And remember, romance comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t have to be a nice dinner and flowers, it could be doing the laundry, or breakfast in bed, or lining up a spa day for her. But the most romantic thing you could do for a girl is to communicate how special she is to you.

2)      Think of something fun you can do together…guys and girls definition of fun is completely different. Really all a girl wants to feel connected to their husbands is to have fun. Something spontaneous, not written in her day planner. Be creative, even if it is outside her comfort zone. But the best part of it to her is that you took the bull by the horns and planned it.

3)      What is the one thing you can do this week, to help relieve stress from her life? Offer to pick the kids up from school so she can stay late at work and catch up, offer to cook one evening, offer to do everything she does for a day…cook, clean, put the kids down, do a couple loads of laundry, clean the dishes, feed the animals…give her the night off to do a little work or have a little “alone time”.

4)      And here is a biggie…ask her what the one thing is about your marriage that she may like to change? Now this is a pretty gutsy move, but she will be forever grateful. Instead of her having to bring up her irritations during an argument, allow her to tell you the one frustration that she has about your marriage over a glass of wine.

Keeping a marriage alive and happy takes a lot of work. Most think it comes pretty naturally and if ever there is a bump in the road they bail. But you have to be tough, gut it out…to keep your marriage alive you have to be the man of the house. Let her know how valuable and important she is to the functionality of your lives.